June's Favorite Things & Musings

Stumptown Coffee
Somehow, over the past six months, I've become a coffee drinker, after years of preferring tea. I'm pretty sure I attribute this shift to our Europe trip last year, where a daily Wiener melange was a typical start to my morning. I got a Moka pot not long after returning from our trip, and tried buying whole beans for the first time, which I ground fresh each morning. And boy, does quality coffee and the proper grind make all the difference. I've been loving Stumptown beans lately, which is fortuitous, given our upcoming move to Portland (and I'm excited to try Coava and Heart once we move and I empty my current bag!). While I don't yet have an advanced enough palate to taste the individual flavor notes, I have enjoyed bags of Holler Mountain, Costa Rica Montes de Oro, and Ethiopian Duromina. I tend to like the ones that are described as sweeter and having fruity notes—though to me, they just taste smooth and delicious.

Yulin Kuang
Yulin is a YouTuber who has a background in filmmaking, and I really enjoyed binging on all her content this month. Her videos are heartfelt and poetic and quirky in the best way. My favorites have to be her newest short about Emily, a feline filmmaker, and her "Thinking Out Loud" series, which is her unique spin on vlogging, though I'd describe it as more akin to visual journal entries.

A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara
I finished reading A Little Life this month, which, if you recall, I mentioned in my last "Five Thoughts" post. I still haven't recovered from the experience, and have been unable to get into another book since then. A Little Life is a wonderful piece of literature, but it is entirely emotionally draining. As I wrote in my Goodreads review, the book destroyed me. Yanaghiara masterfully takes us into the lives and minds of the characters, particularly the enigmatic Jude, and the story explores themes of friendship, love, and what it means to be present for the pains and pleasures of another's life. Upon finishing the book, I've been interested in how so many people are hesitant to recommend this book to others, or do so with a barrage of trigger warnings (understandably so). But I found this quote in an interview with the author in which she discusses her thoughts on avoiding difficult subject matter: "Much as I hope the reader is there in this book to bear witness to Jude’s life and his suffering, we equally owe it as humans to witness other humans’ suffering as well, and not turn away because it makes us uncomfortable." I think this idea is really important, and it is one of those character traits that takes cultivation and practice and stumbling and trying again. A Little Life certainly forced me to lean into the discomfort of someone's painful history, and even as a piece of fiction it helped make me more compassionate and empathetic.

Beneath the Skin by Of Monsters & Men
I was a fan of OM&M's first album, and I'm quite enjoying their second release. It doesn't really break any new ground or explore different sounds, but sometimes you don't want a band to change that much. I quite like the songs Wolves Without Teeth and I of the Storm. Spotify | Amazon.

The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows
This is an old favorite I rediscovered this month. The creator, John Koenig, is assembling a collection of invented words aiming to describe emotions that we don't have specific language for yet. The videos for each word are gorgeous, melancholy, and thought-provoking. Sonder is an old favorite, but I'm slowly working my way through the rest of the collection and looking forward to future words.

Loud Places by Jamie XX
If there's one song that got more play than any other this month, it was Loud Places. I'm 100% addicted to this beat and melody and Romy's gorgeous voice. Every time it plays on Spotify, my headphone volume uncontrollably raises 40%. (For the record, this song aside, I find the rest of the Jamie XX album fairly obnoxious and totes not my jam.)


Mary | heyclaire
Claire Marshall is one of my favorite YouTubers—her videos are always so well done with amazing editing. In her latest video, she demonstrates her skills as a storyteller as well, letting viewers into her experience as her mother battles with dementia and Alzheimer's. Warning: It's a tear-jerker, but so beautiful and touching. I was crying from the very beginning, but when she described how the nurses help keep her mother calm, I totally lost it.




A Few Random Articles Worth Checking Out:
How to Stage Your Home for Living via The Minimalists
How I Turned a 3-month Sabbatical into 7 Years of Traveling the World via Harper's Bazaar
Trying is Always Worth It via Alexandra Franzen

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Did this post resonate with you? Email me at rootswingswanderings {at} gmail {dot} com or join me on Twitter @cait_lindsey to share your thoughts. I'd love to hear from you!

Coffee Chat // June 3, 2015

1. Do you know what I'm grateful for? I'm so glad I have grown out of the idea that, as a female, guys make better friends. There was a time in my early college years when I believed this, mainly because I was interested in having fun, doing stupid things, and—let's be honest—drinking, and the boys were always game for that. As I've matured, I've come to value and champion female friendships in a deep, elemental way—so much so that it's jarring for me to encounter women against women. It happened recently, in a room of mostly ladies no less, and the reasoning was the stereotypical "girls are too dramatic/catty/etc." My reactions were as follows: 1) This person needs new lady friends; 2) I feel sad for her; and 3) With those explicit views, this is a person I would not really want to develop a meaningful relationship with—thus, doesn't become a self-fulfilling prophecy for her? While I'm still on the journey towards deeper, soul-satisfying ladyfriendships (and will be starting from scratch in a new city very soon), the women who are a part of my life right now are beautiful and intelligent and powerful and talented and soulful. I am so lucky for that, and I can't fathom writing off half the population based on your own perceptions. My threshold for friendship is not just what's "easy" or "fun"—I also want inspiration and growth. What would happen if we viewed lady friends as a part of our life's love story? Or maybe as a spiritual practice? Why don't we build each other up instead of tearing each other down?

2. The more women I talk to of similar age to myself, the more I encounter ambivalence towards motherhood. It might be a case of selection bias, since it's something on my mind and in opening up about it with others I'm giving them space to express their own doubts, but it still surprised me to hear my own feelings reflected in other women. I spent a lot of time feeling strange about my indecision. You either want kids or you don't; it's not really a choice you can half-choose! But here I am, and now I see that I'm not alone in the middle ground. I believe my life would be satisfying with children and satisfying without. I want a family (in whatever form that takes), and I want creative pursuits and friendships entirely separate from my family life. Basically, I have a "whatever happens, happens" attitude about having kids, but when you have some physical/health considerations that might make getting pregnant difficult (let's not even talk about my fears surrounding actually being pregnant), it is sort of pushing me to make an intentional choice, especially as the clock is ticking. It's a challenging position to be in. If you're in a similar ambivalent place, just know you aren't alone.

3. I'm currently reading A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara, and it is one of the most intense and heart-wrenching reading experiences I've had in a long time. It's about a group of male friends in New York City figuring out their adult lives post-college. In particular, it focuses on one man who had a unfathomably horrendous childhood that has left lasting emotional effects on him. I'm two-thirds through and think it's an incredible book, but the subject matter is quite difficult and sometimes graphic, and it could be triggering if you are sensitive to depictions of abuse. I think it's going to be a very popular book of 2015 and recommend it if you enjoy heavy, emotional reads.

4. In preparing for our move and temporary downsizing, I've been selling, donating, and purging a ton of stuff. Getting rid of the clutter I don't want honestly feels a million times better than shopping ever has—and I need to remember this in the future. Related: Watching minimalist YouTubers (such as Light by Coco, Carrie Leighanna, and My Green Closet) while I'm packing has been such great motivation for not holding onto unnecessary things.

5. So, I'm excited to move to Portland, don't get me wrong, but I've still been feeling stressed and nervous. It's a huge change we're about to make! I am a person that does okay with change so long as I know what to expect (hello, Control Freak) but right now there are just so many unknowns. Through all the emotions, little signs of Portland have been popping up left and right. While sorting papers, I'd open a random notebook to find an old list of places in Portland I wanted to visit the first time we traveled there in 2007. I'll go on Instagram and see a photo taken of the bridge near our first choice apartment that we just applied for. The Painted Hills I see on Pinterest turn out to not be in China as I assumed, but in Oregon. These droplets feel like hints from the universe that I'm on the right path, even in the midst of the nerves and craziness, and it's a little breath of comfort to me.

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While commenting has been disabled on my recent posts, these "Five Thoughts" posts have always been a great place for me to have discussions and get feedback about things on my mind, so I've opened comments for this post. If you have any thoughts or comments to share, please do! As always, I can also be reached by email at rootswingswanderings {at} gmail {dot} com or on Twitter @cait_lindsey.