Link Love : December

RSA Shorts - The Power of Empathy, Dr. Brene Brown via The RSA 

Link Love is a monthly series featuring my favorite links and bits around the interwebs.

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Persimmon Crepes via Happy Yolks
A perfect rant about authenticity... "At the end of the day, the pandemic use of the word authentic underscores how massively disconnected we are, as individuals, to what it means to be fully ourselves. Fully and/or comfortably. We have to talk about being authentic all the time to convince ourselves that we actually are. And where does that come from? Ultimately that’s what we’re left to assess. Why is everyone trying so hard? WE DON’T NEED TO TRY SO HARD! We just need to BE our own weird selves. That’s authentic."

How to Write Your First Book via Buzzfeed
"Here, 21 successful writers share the stories of their first published books, complete with many false starts, debacles with agents and publishers, and advice they’d travel through time to give their younger selves." A lengthy, thorough, interesting post from... Buzzfeed? Color me shocked! 

Amy Poehler is one busy lady. But she'll still make time for you. via PAPERMAG

I love this woman so much, and this interview just makes me smile... though I admit I legit started crying when she alluded to the fact that this season could be the end of Parks & Rec.

25 Questions to Ask Yourself Before the End of the Year by Ashley Wilhite via Mind Body Green

Since I opted out of taking Stratejoy's Holiday Council this year, I thought this list from Ashley of Your Super Awesome Life was a good starting point for some self-reflection. 

How to brand yourself as a multipotentialite in a way that makes sense to conventional employers via Puttylike

This post (and the comments section) is a good read for people like me who are interested in a wide array of subjects and/or who have a diverse employment history... "How do we brand ourselves as multipotentialites in a non-multi world? How do we package our round holes in square pegs?"

Fear Choice vs. Love Choice. Which will you choose? via Alexandra Franzen 

A super short post with a brilliant message. 

You need to go after the things you want by Ryan O'Connell via Thought Catalog 

"WE WEREN’T BUILT TO BE CALM, COOL, AND COLLECTED. If we were, it wouldn’t feel so fucking exhausting all the time. It would, you know, come naturally to us. You know what comes naturally to human beings though? Being open, being messy, being raw, being unfiltered, having lots of feelings." 

Christmas, Sickness, and a Note to My Future Self.

Follow me on Instagram: @cait_lindsey_

Tis the season to be jolly... and sick as a dog.

For the second year in a row, I’ve arrived on Christmas day bearing gifts in one hand and wadded up tissues and empty cough drop wrappers in the other. When my sore throat and mildly runny nose evolved into a deep, rattling cough a few days ago, I was struck with a sense of deja vu about the whole situation. Sure enough, I checked my journal and an old blog post and read an almost verbatim retelling of my current status.

I wanted to brush it off as pure coincidence, or at least just that time of year when germs are being passed from person to person like plates of Christmas cookies. But a voice inside me thought otherwise. “Your body cannot cope with the stress you put it through during this time of the year,” it said. “Why haven’t you learned the lesson to be kinder to yourself?”

I’ve long been aware of my perfectionistic tendencies and how they sometimes take run of my life, but when Christmas rolls around, I’ve blindly accepted it as a part of the seasonal routine. Of course I want to find the perfect gifts for the 25+ people on my Christmas list. Of course I want to give generously to everyone and take part in every Secret Santa exchange to which I’m invited. Of course I want to wrap my gifts in a way that would make Martha Stewart proud. Of course I will go to every family gathering and see everyone I can on my mom’s side, my step-dad’s side, and my husband’s side. Of course I will bring a potluck dish that appeals to a variety of dietary concerns and is also delicious. Of course I will be primped and primed and coiffed for holiday photos.

Behind every “of course” that I try to project outward in the name of holiday cheer is a hefty dose manic energy fueled by what I interpret as other’s expectations of me. I want to be thought of as creative and thoughtful and a “good” daughter/sister/cousin/friend, and the way to do that at Christmas is through my presence (no matter how spread thin I feel) or my presents (no matter how much pressure, stress, and money the gift-buying or gift-making process involves). Rather than taking a step back and adopting a realistic, balanced, and more wholesome view of the holidays that would be more in line with my values, I just put my head down and bulldozed straight into December, giving into the perfectionistic demands and an idealized vision of the holiday season. It’s easier to plow through than to try and change things. It’s no wonder I end up collapsing by the end of it all.

As I sit here post crash-and-burn (though not yet fully recovered), it’s hard for me to understand how I was so blind to what I’ve been doing to myself over the past few Christmases, especially this year. My stress level really was so out of control I was dreaming about to-do lists and gift wrapping themes. At one point, I ended up with three surplus gifts for one person because I couldn’t stop buying something “better” for her. I often moan about how we’re missing the point of the season by being so materialistic, and yet I failed to see how I’m playing into this by equating my value as a daughter/sister/cousin/friend with what I give someone as a gift.

Most years I come away from the holidays threatening to escape to a snowy village in Germany next Christmas instead of celebrating with family. I won’t deny that I still fantasize about that, but I know running away won’t solve my problems, especially because I carry most of them within me.

When I come back to read this post next December 1, I want my future self to remember to be kind to herself, first and foremost. And from that kindness, remember that gifts are simply a holiday tradition (and a fairly unimportant one in the grand scheme of things), and not some secret expression of worthiness. Whether you choose to hand-make or buy, and whether those gifts cost $5 or $50, they are simply a way to say, “I’m thinking about you this holiday.” Remember that presence is always worth more than presents, but even that has a limited supply-- and it’s okay to say “no” when that supply runs low. 

With a little bit of grace towards myself, I’m hoping that future Christmases won’t leave me so depleted that I’m sick in bed until after New Year’s. Someday, I’d like to look forward to Christmas as a simple, joyous, family-focused time instead of one that needs to be managed, tolerated, and endured.

But for now, please pass the tissues and NyQuil.

Best of 2013: A Year in Review.

In 2011 and 2012, I created a “Year in Review” infographic newsletter to fill in my family on the happenings in Mark’s and my life (pictured above). These letters were such a fun project for me, as I love reflecting on good times and laying it all out. Side note: I had intended to blog the cards both years, but in the time I spent waiting for my family to get the cards in the mail before posting photos, I promptly forgot that I’d wanted to blog them at all. You’d think I’d learn to schedule posts in advance... but NOPE.

This year, however, “good times” have been on short supply. Even in a so-called normal year, it would have been hard to top 2012’s European travels and living in Ireland, but 2013 was more sadness and struggle than anything else.  My family dealt with three deaths, my brother was hit by a truck on his motorcycle (he’s now post-surgery and recovering), I had a fallout with an immediate family member that ended with us cutting contact for the present time, my cat was diagnosed with the early stages of liver disease requiring constant nursing and syringe-feeding, plus more than a handful of other smaller challenges. Those kinds of things don’t really make for good Christmas newsletter content, no? At least not one that doesn't make people depressed or require a two-drink minimum to read.



I think it’s still important for me to dig down and look for the little bits of good in the past year, even if I don’t think I need to share with my family the mundanities like my love for Trader Joe’s Dark Chocolate Triple Ginger Cookies and the joy of re-reading Harry Potter for the first time since the late '90s. But my blog has always been about cherishing the small moments, so I felt like it is a natural place for me to find the joy, and maybe do a little bit of humblebragging, if I can muster it :)

Without further ado, these are my Best Bits and Favorite Things from 2013:

1. Organizing the shit out of my house.
Lame but true. You guys can't imagine the joy I get from taking something disorganized and figuring out a system to make it work. This year, we got rid of a lot of stuff we didn’t need anymore, and then I organized everything left over, since I was feeling constantly annoyed at the messy cabinets and closets. It was as simple as getting some trays, dividers, and storage boxes, but it has made my life so much easier now that everything has its own place. My personal favorite is the magazine file that I’ve repurposed as a hairdryer/hair straighter/hairbrush holder that slides right under my bathroom sink for storage (kind of like this).

2. Papa’s memorial service with my family.
It's probably strange to put a memorial service on a "best bits" list, but it ended up being a really good day. When my grandpa died on my birthday in January, I wasn't really sure how to process my intense feelings of grief nor how to give myself some closure, which was only compounded by the fact that he opted not to have a funeral. In September, my family decided to hold a family-only memorial for my grandpa in the Northwoods, a place he loved. We dressed up in flannel shirts, fleece jackets, and trucker hats and spent the afternoon sharing stories of Papa-- fishing adventures, numerous stories of accidents and injuries, his personal dictionary of made-up words, his stubbornness (which runs in the family), and other hilarious memories. I felt more full of laughter and love than tears after that point, which is more than I could have asked for from the day. It was really great to have everyone from my family in one place for a weekend (minus one cousin who is away at college), and it'll be one of those family memories that I'll always cherish.

3. Visiting the Oregon coast by myself and spending lots of time at Powell’s.
I went out to Oregon for the Story Excavation retreat, and while the retreat didn’t turn out quite the way I’d hoped, I had a really nice time on my own in the days before and after the retreat. I rented a car by myself for the very first time (a tiny little Fiat 500), and explored Portland and the Oregon coastal towns for two days. One of the highlights was obviously the many hours I spent in Powell's bookstore. For souvenirs, I bought myself a book of poetry and a "Le Petit Prince" t-shirt from Out of Print Clothing. Post-retreat, after four days of quick camp showers with bad water pressure, I had THE BEST shower of my life in a hotel room near the airport, as well as the most wonderful night's sleep in probably six months. It was a tiny little taste of what a solo-vacation would be like (which I've never done before), and I'm dreaming about taking a trip on my own at some point in the future (my fantasy is some sort of resort spa, if only they weren't so bloody expensive).

4. Meeting two internet friends and turning them into real life friends. 
Hi, Jill! Hi, Renee! *Waves* Over the summer, I got to meet two lovely ladies I'd gotten to know through blogging and Twitter. And I'm lucky enough to have one of them as a next door neighbor! I only wish Jill lived closer too because I had such a great time over brunch in Chicago and then showing her around Oak Park when she came in from Minneapolis for a visit. I'm sure we'd have lots of fun thrifting together if we lived closer. Internet to IRL pals are wonderful.

5. Getting to spend a few days with my adorable nephews.
In May, Mark and I took a roadtrip between Arizona, where Mark's sister lives, and Southern California, to see Mark's dad. Phoenix has exactly zero appeal to me aside from my sister-in-law and her family, but I will gladly put up with Arizona for a visit to spend time with them. Our nephews, who are currently 4 and 6 years old, are such adorable, wonderful boys. We're making plans to take a yearly trip out there each March to make sure we get to spend time with them while they're young.

6. Reading a ton of books.
I've talked about this a lot already-- I mentioned achieving my reading goal already, and I wrote about my favorite books of the year here. When I was bogged down with shitty circumstances, it was a wonderful outlet to bury myself in someone else's world. 

7. Fun events:
Attending a Zoe Keating concert, seeing Susan Cain give a talk, seeing Michael Pollan speak, going to a Blackhawks game on Mark’s birthday, attending a letterpress workshop, seeing The Book of Mormon, taking a breakfast pastry class, and having a summer dinner party at our friend's condo downtown. Because I'd sort of labeled 2013 as "generally horrible" in my mind, I'd honestly forgot about most of these smaller fun events until I looked back at my Instagram.

8. Finally getting our condo completely painted in colors we won’t regret in a year.
Between moving into our condo in 2008 and the start of this year, we'd painted our living room/kitchen four times. Granted, one of those times was because we were dumdums and bought semi-gloss paint by accident, thus requiring a re-paint in the correct finish. Nonetheless, I am clearly indecisive when it comes to paint colors. This year, we left the living room alone since we love the color (Behr Turtle Dove, a light gray-ish sage green) and tackled the bedroom (with Benjamin Moore Revere Pewter) and office (Benjamin Moore Iceberg). Now the whole condo is a lovely range of light green, blue, and greige, and I couldn't be happier. FINALLY.

9. Cutting my own hair (successfully).
Despite a traumatic DIY bangs-cutting incident in 8th grade, I somehow got it in my head that it'd be a good idea to try and cut my own very long hair. Actually, it'd be more truthful to say that I was too lazy-- and cheap-- to go to the salon (I was also sort of embarrassed that it'd been more than 600 days since my last hair cut, for shame). So I turned to the source of all DIY knowledge-- YouTube! I watched a dozen videos on how to cut long hair in layers, and after no one came to confiscate all the scissors from my house despite my pleas on Twitter, I did it! I took about 3.5-4" off. It took a super long time since I was trying to be so careful, but honestly, it was really easy. When I get a medium-to-long haircut at the salon, I never feel like I come away looking any different, so I'm pleased at having saved $70... and I'll probably do it again. (For anyone curious, I used this video the most because her texture and thickness seemed most similar to mine, and she's a hair stylist by day, so I guess I trusted her technique more. But there's a ton of video tutorials out there.)

10. Becoming 100% student loan free. 
Thanks to a giant tax return after spending most of 2012 working in Ireland, Mark was able to submit one lump payment to finish off his student loans. I paid off my loans back in July of 2010, so our education is officially 100% behind us... at least until I entertain the idea of going back to school again (a thought that often lies in the back of my mind).

11. Buying a Prius.
We traded our student loan payment for a car payment and got a pretty Prius in October, as I mentioned in my Coffee Date post. She's beautiful!

12. Re-assessing my creative goals.
After closing my Etsy shop and scaling back on freelance graphic design work, I've had an abundance of extra time to ask, "What do I really want to pursue and accomplish?" and I can see some changes will be occurring in the new year. I can go into more detail in a future blog post.

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Even though 2013 isn't quite over yet, I'm pretty excited to look forward to 2014, a year that will hopefully be happier, healthier, and a little more joyous than this one. Onward ho!


Note: While Year in Review type cards are freakin' ALL OVER Pinterest these days (or Minted, for any of you non-DIY types) I do have to give a head-nod to designers Amanda Jane Jones and Aprile Elcich for being my original inspirations for the idea and several of the elements I ended up including on our own cards.

Best of 2013: In Books.

So far this year, I've completed 36 books and have surpassed my Goodreads goal of 30 books. I am hoping to round out the year by finishing four more, but I feel pretty safe in declaring my favorite reads from the past year.

My first favorite book was Me Before You by Jojo Moyes. It is a contemporary fiction book about a woman in England who accepts a job as a caretaker for a quadriplegic man, and the story follows the development of their work and personal relationship. It's hard to say any more without giving the story away, but I thought it was both lovely and tragic, heart-wrenching and life-affirming. If you enjoy Jodi Piccoult books, I highly suggest you give this book a read. I cannot promise it won't make you cry though! I am a robot made of stone when reading some books-- The Fault in Our Stars made me shed nary a tear, for example-- but Me Before You hit me right in the ventricles.

My second favorite is less of a book and more of an author-- Cheryl Strayed. I read both Wild and Tiny Beautiful Things this year, and I won't be forgetting either book anytime soon. Wild is Strayed's memoir from her time hiking the Pacific Crest Trail during a time in her life when she'd experienced quite a bit of tragedy and loss. I loved the balance between Strayed's personal story and the physical journey she was on. I'm already prone to wanderlust, and this book definitely made me want to get out in nature in the worst way-- even with the mention of her toenails falling off.

Strayed's other book, Tiny Beautiful Things, is a collection of questions and answers from her formerly anonymous advice column, Dear Sugar, for the website The Rumpus. This book demonstrates Strayed's amazing talent for getting right to the heart of the matter. People have written to Sugar who are in the midst of difficult and heart-wrenching situations, and Strayed's responses draw heavily upon her own life experiences. Her approach is less advice and more life lessons, and I came away from many of the essays feeling immense gratitude and awe at the beauty and tragedy of the human experience. I underlined the hell out of my book, and I walked away from it wanting to be a better, more kinder person. READ IT READ IT READ IT.

Other notable reads:
- A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: How I Learned to Live a Better Story by Donald Miller
- A Homemade Life: Stories and Recipes from My Kitchen Table by Molly Wizenberg
- It Chooses You by Miranda July

A few "misses"-- overhyped and/or poorly written, in my opinion:
- Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs
- Allegiant by Veronica Roth
- Making Your Creative Mark by Eric Maisel

PS - I've been attempting to play with watercolors a little bit more to figure out how they work, so I created the two book cover images above during my practice time. It was super fun and I'm really enjoying the "daintiness" of watercolors compared to the big, messy acrylic paintings I've done in the past. It might be something I want to continue to play with next year!

Coffee Chat // December 10, 2013

I've seen this kind of series pop up on various blogs and vlogs in the past, and I adore the concept. Since I'd love to gather us all together for a chat over coffee but I'm still working on inventing that teleporter and my apparition skills are sorely lacking, we'll have to settle for the occasional Coffee Date post. I hope you'll join me!

Instead of just rambling about the random things going on in my world, I thought I'd throw out a few questions for you. Play along in the comments below if you'd like!

1. What's your favorite holiday memory from childhood? 
2. When was the last time you did something special or exciting? 
3. Have you seen any good movies lately? 
4. How do you avoid getting too stressed out during the holiday season? Please help. I'm desperate.
5. What was the last impulse purchase you made? 

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When I was about eight years old, my family started holding a Progressive Dinner, which was one December night where we'd travel between my aunts' and grandparent's houses for appetizers, dinner and dessert. I remember thinking it was such a fun idea, and I loved getting to see the Christmas tree and decorations at each of my relatives' houses. We'd get to stay up later than normal, and if we were lucky on the drive home, my stepdad would take a short detour and go past the "fancy houses," which were always my favorite to see all lit up with Christmas lights. I don't remember us keeping this tradition for too many years, as I think it got to be too much work and travel time for the various families, but I loved it while it lasted.

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Life hasn't been particularly exciting this year, but we did recently buy a new car in October-- a bright blue Prius named Dory, after the fish from Finding Nemo. She's gorgeous! It's basically our first "grown up" car purchase. We went from a 1999 Mercury Sable, a hand-me-down from my step-grandma, which felt like driving a tank around our tiny urban neighborhood and was starting to cost us far too much in repairs. I'm so happy to have a smaller and more modern car now!

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I always tend to watch more movies in the winter. Mark and I often go to mid-day matinees at our local theater, and we saw The Book Thief two weekends ago and Catching Fire the week before that. Catching Fire was SO GOOD, you guys! This is my review, summed up perfectly in one GIF:

The Book Thief is one of Mark's favorite books, and I thought the book was quite good as well, so our expectations were pretty high for the movie adaptation. I thought it was a beautifully filmed movie, and the story still made an impression, but it is nowhere near as good as the book.

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Stress during the holidays is always a problem for me. We have about 20 people to buy gifts for every year (yay divorced families!), and the logistics of spending time with each family-- plus friends and work parties-- makes me threaten to run off to Germany for Christmas EVERY YEAR. This year, I took some pressure off myself by deciding not to send out holiday cards. I feel like I should feel guilty about this, but I don't. At least not until someone points out that I didn't send out cards. And I'll give them the side-eye for it.

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I admire the people who are able to refrain from buying themselves anything during December; I do not have that kind of self-restraint. I don't do a lot of shopping or internet browsing during the year, so when I start Christmas shopping for family, I always end up finding stuff for myself too. That has been the case this year since I have a few ladies to buy for for Secret Santa exchanges and have been spending time on sites like Sephora and BaubleBar. Black Friday and Cyber Monday online deals didn't help matters either. Most recently I ended up buying myself this rose gold pave bracelet from BaubleBar when I had a discount code. Oops!

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Your turn! Feel free to answer any or all the questions, I'd love to hear from you.

My Christmas Wishlist

After a mini panic attack due to the fact that Christmas is only 21 days away (and even less for the few holiday gatherings I'm attending that are occurring before the 25th), I spent much of my free time yesterday trying get a jump on my holiday shopping. Between placing orders at a few local stores and taking advantage of a some remaining Cyber Monday deals, I was able to check off about 60% of the people on my shopping list, and I've got a good solid plan for the other 40%. Phew, crisis averted.

While I was browsing online, I couldn't help but gather my own fantasy wish list. My needs are few and far between (as always), but I'm finding myself lusting after more than a handful of beautiful and luxurious goods, the kinds of things I rarely treat myself to. So I thought a bit of daydreaming was in order. Santa, take note ; )

And if you don't care about what I'm personally wishing for this Christmas, just consider this a Gift Guide for the Earthy-Yet-Stylish, Simplicity-Loving Semi-Hippie.

Column 1: Rustic Kitchen Apron in Blue Pinstripe Ticking ($45) from meyertextileco on Etsy {shop is currently closed/sold out for the holidays, boo!}  // The Vintage Tote Bag ($175) from Whipping Post // Milk Glass Mixing Bowl Set in Jade ($88) from Terrain // Frye Veronica Shortie boots in Burnished Slate ($269) from Zappo's

Column 2: Metal Accordion Side Table in Bronze ($78) from Urban Outfitters // Heather Hawkins Cabochon Stud Earrings ($88) from Shop Bop {though the reviews are disappointing, as the earrings seem to differ from the photo in person, bummer!} // Brahms Mount Cotton Herringbone Throw in Indigo ($236) from Orange & Pear // It's All Good cookbook ($21.99) by Gwenyth Paltrow

Column 3: 12 Vegan Soap Samples ($22) from prunellasoap on Etsy // Long Bar Necklace ($99) from Mar La Studio // Glass Terrarium ($90) from boxwoodtree on Etsy // Basic Essential Oil Sampler ($51.60) or Best of the Best essential oil set ($120.60) from PlantLife {thank you for the recommendation, Analiese!}

A few extra items that were too nerdy to picture: Bookstore and Dumbledore's Office scented soy candles ($14 each) from FrostBeard on Etsy // A Practical Guide to Spells and Wizardry art print ($45) by NateDuval on Etsy

And the intangibles: Laughter over a wholesome, delicious holiday meal // To sit in front of a crackling fire // Chatting over a cup of tea with my loved ones // A chance to get out for a snowy photo walk // My annual viewing and reciting the entire script of Home Alone // The feeling of warmth in my chest after a glass of mulled wine // To sit in stillness when possible and consciously take steps to avoid a stressful season.

What's #1 on your holiday wishlist? If I could have anything, I'd probably go for those Frye boots. *Swoon.*

Link Love : November

'The Bear & The Hare' - The Making of via Blink

Link Love is a monthly series featuring my favorite links and bits around the interwebs.

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How to Love a Girl Who Writes by Kate Bartolotta via Elephant Journal

"Be prepared for her to leave you. Not for long, but there will be those moments where she’s mumbling and she gets that look in her eyes and you know you’ve lost her. An idea, a character, a song has caught hold and she must capture it; she’ll be back."

Roast Chicken Tournament Crowns the Best Recipe Ever via Buzzfeed

"Eight famous roast chicken recipes go head to head in a single-elimination, bracket-style tournament. Like March Madness. Only, with poultry."  

Gift Guide for Beauty Lovers via MakeupTIA
While I don't have too many beauty lovers to buy for, I loved Ashley's gift guide, especially the way she packaged and wrapped her gifts. I'm loving the way she has been editing her videos lately!

Remember, you said Yes to this via Danielle Laporte

"I realize that my mood is directly affected by my awareness of this fact: I said Yes to most everything that’s in my life. Yes — I want this. Yes — bring it on. Yes — I’m up for this."

The gift of not giving a thing via Yummy Mummy Club 
"But what if nobody gave me boys presents anymore? What if they only gave them GIFTS? The gifts of experience, adventure, and more importantly, familiarity that they truly need."
Despite the negative feedback this post has garnered, I totally agree; experiences > stuff, even for kids. Presence > Presents, as one commenter phrased it. I plan to have this same attitude when I have kids. 

Why is being yourself so damn hard? via Stratejoy
"You consume so many messages from others—from society, your community, your families—that tell you what is acceptable, desirable, or achievable that you can’t hear the siren song within you."

How to clean and care for your boots via Darling Magazine 
"Traipsing around in leather boots can cause damage, making our investment pieces less and less valuable with each winter storm. However, when we take time to take care for our boots they last longer, shed water better, and look their best despite the weather conditions."

Why I cook via Equals Record

"I find solace in the soothing rhythm of the prep work, my knife slicing gracefully through an onion or pile of herbs. I find comfort in the soft thump my oven makes as I open and close it..."
 

Coveting // Blushed

ElishaMarie's delicate, gold spiral ring.

Pink clay spa bath set from Herbivore Botanicals.

A dainty lotus tea light holder.

A set of crocheted dishcloths by CocoaBeans.

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Confession: While Christmas shopping on Etsy, I can't help but do a little window shopping for myself. Not sorry.

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I hope you are having a beautiful start to this holiday week, friends! And in case I'm too busy to post again this week, Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. I'm deeply grateful for all the blog friends I've made through the years, and for each person who takes the time to read along here.

Loving Lately : Autumn 2013

Burned: Bath and Body Works' Havest Gathering No. 4 candle. The scent is described as a blend of fresh pumpkin, warm harvest spices and apples. It's not overwhelmingly cinnamon-y, as many fall candles tend to be, and I like that the scent doesn't get too strong while burning. I loved the spiced apple scent of the popular Leaves candle last year, but the scent is so strong it made my nose run every time I burned it-- no es bueno. As we transition from fall into winter, I'm also LOVING Cranberry Woods (a mix of cranberry, blackcurrant, cedar wood, and amber) and Winter Night (fir, cyprus, clove, and incense). I purchased Winter Night last year and is unfortunately not available as a part of this year's collection. FYI - BBW runs 2/$22 sales all the time; I *NEVER* buy BBW candles at full price, because that's just ludicrous. They are the best non-high-end candles I've ever bought, and they burn super evenly. Cheaper brands tend to burn only in the center and you end up wasting a lot of wax.

Discovered: Photo Pin, a free photo searching site for bloggers and creatives. It searches for Creative Commons licensed photos that are free to use on your blog or website. I like the interface of this site opposed to Flickr's search function.

Ate: Chicken, Black Bean and Sweet Potato Chili by Tina Jeffers for Blissblog. This might be my favorite chili recipe I've ever tried! Now, this will sound crazy, but I made a few changes-- I used grass-fed beef instead of ground chicken, and I used only a few tablespoons of a dark beer (since that's all we had) and added a snack cup of applesauce to replace the rest of the beer (about 1/2 cup?). I also threw in a splash of Trader Joe's iced coffee concentrate (since there's already cocoa powder in the recipe, and little coffee can deepen the flavors). Even if you make it per the recipe, it'd taste super good. It's on my menu for this weekend.

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Watched: JustMargaret and EcoholicBeauty on YouTube. I'm always adding new people to my list of favorite YouTubers. I found Margaret earlier this year through a discussion about female creators on YouTube, and I love her quirky, thoughtful vlogs. She also has a makeup channel called ItsJustAesthetics, and she introduced me to EcoholicBeauty, a beauty vlogger who focuses on natural, environmentally friendly, and cruelty free makeup and body products. As a true hippie at heart, I'm super pumped to learn more about natural beauty care, and it's inspired me to do some overhauling (more on this soon).

Listened to: Anthropologie on Rotation, which is Anthro's Spotify station. If you love the music that plays in the store, you'll adore their Spotify playlists. The French playlist, "Passport to Paris," has been a perfect backdrop to my writing sessions, and their Christmas playlists are SO SO good (yep, totally listened to them already; my favorite is "A Merry-Making Playlist").

•••

Baked: The Perfect Chocolate Chip Cookie. I'm not exaggerating; that's really the name of the recipe. It comes from Cook's Illustrated magazine, who is known for taking classic recipes and making a few strategic changes to make the best possible version of said recipes. These cookies are an old favorite of ours-- big, chewy, and caramel-y from the brown butter. I love to add a little flaked sea salt to the top for that salted dark chocolate taste. Amazing.

Purchased: Julep Maven beauty box subscription.* Let me preface this by saying I am NOT a nail polish girl (or much of a makeup girl at all, for that matter). I've seriously painted my nails twice since I got married 5+ years ago, and both of those times were in the past 2 months. So this recommendation does not come lightly-- I have to really enjoy it for me to be talking about it here :) I was given a coupon code to try a Julep box a few months ago. I'd heard about the box subscriptions through a few online friends, who all had good things to say. I ended up loving the three polishes that came in my introductory box, and ordered a November monthly box as well. Julep gives you the option of accepting or skipping each box after previewing the monthly selections, which is an awesome feature because sometimes the polishes just aren't appealing. Of the polishes and makeup products I have received, I've been quite impressed with the packaging, quality, and colors, and I admit that it's pretty fun to get a little present in the mail each month.

Learned: I signed up for illustrator/letterer Mary Kate McDevitt's Skillshare class "The First Steps of Hand Lettering." I'm obsessed with hand-drawn type (see my Pinterest board here) and I've always wanted to learn a little more about the process. I'm about halfway through the lessons, and I think it's a great class. Most valuable to me is seeing the way Mary Kate goes about her work. While she is undoubtedly talented, it also takes a lot of sketching, erasing, and refining of lines. You don't have to be inherently talented if you're willing to put some hard work in to your art. If you haven't taken a Skillshare class before, they are great! The online classes are design focused (think: Illustrator, InDesign, CSS, fashion illustration, etc.) and offered by well-known designers/artists, and feature video lessons, assignments, and classroom forums. All of the classes are super affordable (most are $20-25 per class). If you'd like $10 off your first class, feel free to use this coupon code link.*

(Please note: The two links marked with * are affiliate/referral links, and I receive a few credits if you purchase through these links. The original purchases were made with my own money, and I have only included them here because I really do enjoy them!)

•••

What are you loving this season?

Life as an Experiment.

One of the hardest life lessons for me to accept is that “changing your mind” isn’t the same as quitting or failure, two incredibly loaded words in my emotional vocabulary. The perfectionist in me feels so ashamed whenever I start a job or project, give it the old college try, learn that it’s not for me, and bring it to a close. This inner critic scolds me for not being able to commit, for giving up too easily, and for being too fickle and inconsistent. Then, when I start my next endeavor, I’m not only dealing with the natural nerves about starting something new, but also the guilt of prior “failures” and the pressure to live up to my perfectionistic expectations of “success.” It is obviously very difficult to hold a measure of grace for myself, and as a result I’ve found it increasingly harder to get started on the next thing as time goes on.

When I write it out I can often intellectualize my way out of this kind of situation. Like, “Hey, self, you know you have about two dozen interests, so do you really expect to pursue them all, love them all, AND be successful at them all? Okay, Superwoman, good luck with that.” In my less crazy-brain moments, I also recognize that I don’t want to waste time in my life pursuing something I don’t care about just to avoid the unfavorable feelings or negative reactions from others that would accompany quitting.

These thoughts are on my mind as I made the decision to close the doors to my Etsy shop last week. For the past two-ish years, I’ve been basically defining myself as a freelance designer. I’ve designed wedding invitations, both on Etsy and through personal connections, and I’ve helped some small businesses and creative artists with their marketing, design, and social media needs. Last year while we were living in Ireland, freelance design provided me with a degree of flexibility that I wouldn’t have been able to achieve otherwise. And since there’s a lingering chance that Mark’s company could temporarily relocate him for other projects, it seemed logical for me to continue in this manner.

Yet every time I thought about sticking with graphic design and what it would mean to grow as an Etsy shop owner and a freelancer, I felt uneasy. I didn’t outright hate any element of what I was doing, but I was certain I didn’t feel any real passion or enthusiasm. It’s not fun to pour time and creativity into designs, only to have them sit on the virtual shelf on Etsy (which is obviously a very crowded marketplace). For a passionate stationery designer, consumer demand adjustments would just be a standard part of business, but for me it felt pointless. Plus, I disliked the marketing/self-promotion process, and I desired more meaning for my life's work than to “make things look pretty.” Of course I know there’s more to design than that, but that’s all I felt like I was doing, and wasn’t quite enough. I did enjoy creating "fun" projects for my family-- holiday cards, Blurb books, homemade gift labels, Project Life printable cards, etc.-- but those didn't exactly pay the bills.

I found myself saying to friends and acquaintances on more than one occasion, “I’m a graphic designer and have an Etsy shop right now, but I know it’s not something I will keep up with long term.” (And then I'd attempt to change the subject REAL FAST.)

Q: If I already knew that the end would be coming someday, why was I choosing to live in this limbo land of inaction?

A: Because I’m embarrassed to add this to the list of stuff I’ve quit. Apparently, being mildly dissatisfied and fairly indifferent towards my work is better for my ego than to cut my loses and move on. “Graphic designer” was an identity, even if it was one that I didn’t ultimately connect with.

But, seriously, screw that half-assed and self-conscious way of living. What is this life but a series of experiments strung together? How much gentler would we be with ourselves if we viewed our pursuits in this way? As Paul Jarvis wrote a while back on 99u.com, “Experiments don’t “fail”-- they simply prove or disprove a hypothesis.” This line of thinking eliminates the harshness of failure and quitting. There is nothing wrong with us for having given something a genuine try and decided, “that’s not for me.” Not everything you try will be a perfect fit for you. Ignoring the existence of résumé rules and HR representatives for a moment, the number of jobs you’ve had or the number of hobbies you’ve tried (for whatever amount of time) speaks little about what you can do in the future or who you are as a person.

It’s somewhat related to the feelings I had when I wrote about the role of Life Lists for me. We have no idea what kinds of events and experiences are going to change us and in what ways. We can only try something, learn and grow, and adjust from there. And that doesn’t sound anything like failure to me.

I'll leave you with two tangentially-related quotes, which have really been speaking to me these days:

“I have been and still am a seeker, but I have ceased to question stars and books; I have begun to listen to the teaching my blood whispers to me.” ~ Hermann Hesse

and

"There is only one way to avoid criticism: Do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing." ~ Aristotle

{Image: path path path by Barbara Agnew on Flickr via Creative Commons license.}

Listed // At 30...

THINGS I'VE LEARNED AT 30:
- That no one will give you permission so stop waiting for it
- Travel is always worth it
- How to like wine (a work in progress)
- That mushrooms *aren’t* the most vile food substance in existence
- Food is my love language
- That you will NEVER-- quote unquote-- “have your shit together”
- That one significant sign of a mature adult is hiring movers instead of asking your friends
- That my threshold for coffee is exactly 11 ounces
- That steady contentedness is often preferable to the temporary high of happiness
- How wonderful brunch is
- That spending money on food and travel is FAR more fun for me than spending money on clothes, makeup and “stuff”
- That Dyson vacuums ARE worth the money (though I bought refurbished like the true cheapskate that I am)
- That a vacuum can make me incredibly happy
- How to pinpoint the sources of my anxiety much quicker (a work in progress)
- That less is almost always more
- Dinner parties > House parties
- That my parents are flawed humans just like everyone else and are sometimes different from the people I wish they would be
- That owning a home *is not* a requirement for adulthood (something learned too little too late)
- That you’re never too old for binge watching tv shows, eating popcorn for dinner, adoring young adult books, and loving your cat like she’s your child
- That I am too old for staying out past 11pm, having more than 2.5 drinks, and going anywhere with large crowds of people

THINGS I HAVE YET TO LEARN/UNDERSTAND AT 30:
- The perfect shade of lipstick for me
- Whether I have cool toned or warm toned skin (Update, now that I know what it means: COOL. Duh.)
- Whether 30 is too old for to pierce my nose
- What “escrow” is
- How to respond to emails in a timely manner
- How to change a tire
- Navigating my health insurance without pulling all my hair out
- How to correctly pronounce “entrepreneurial” or “Arnold Palmer” without sounding like I have a speech impediment
- How to style my hair in more than two ways (up or down)
- Investing
- How not to hate making phone calls
- How to maintain long distance friendships, particularly with friends who “don’t do social media” (or answer emails/texts)
- How to not hate working out
- How to stop craving foods from my childhood like Lunchables, Pizza Rolls, and mac and cheese with hotdogs

THINGS I'VE DECIDED AT 30 THAT I DON'T EVER HAVE TO LEARN/UNDERSTAND:
- Google+
- Driving a stick-shift/manual car (sorry, Marcus!)
- How to walk in high heels
- How to like beer
- The purpose of LinkedIn
- Football
- How to like (raw) oysters 
- Facebook privacy settings
- Black Friday shopping (eff that shiz)
- Urban Outfitters
- Snapchat
- What’s considered “in fashion”
- How not to get fired up when talking to social conservatives
- How to be “less emotional”

Instructions for Living a Life.

“Instructions for living a life:

Pay attention. 

Be astonished. 

Tell about it.” 

~ Mary Oliver 

The sky hung heavy and gray as we climbed the tiled stairs out of the Abbesses metro station. I tightened my black peacoat around my torso and nestled into my scarf. Glancing at the Parisians passing me on the street, I smiled when I realized I could probably pass for one of them-- at least until someone tried to speak to me in French.

It was just before dusk, and orange light had begun to pour out of the dozens of cafes that seemed to line both sides of every street we wandered down, each one tempting us with an aperitif and fresh, warm baguettes. Up the hill, I could see Sacre Coeur looming over Montmartre, and Mark and I pointed out each landmark we recognized from Amelie (my most favorite movie of all time).

We wandered down another random street, drooling over tidy rows of macarons and croissants in the window of the patisserie and admiring how there was an individual shop for nearly everything-- a chocolatier, a cheese shop, a pharmacy, a seafood vendor, a florist, a rotisserie.

On the other side of the street, I caught sight of an unmistakable red and white awning that read, “Cafe des 2 Moulins.” Abandoning my desire to avoid standing out as a typical American tourist, I excitedly turned to ask Mark if he would take a photo of me in front of Amelie’s infamous place of employment.

But he was no longer standing beside me. I glanced up and down the narrow street, wondering for half a second how someone could have possibly abducted my husband in plain sight. How does one goes about filing a missing persons report in a foreign country?

Not more than 30 seconds later, Mark emerged from the rotisserie with a smile, holding up a white paper bag. Two translucent circles were growing across the bottom of the bag, and the swirling scent of herbs and rich, caramelized chicken wafted out. He said, “My mouth was watering, and I just had to follow my nose.”

I followed Mark to a dim side street, and we perched on the window sill of a shop that had closed for the evening. He handed me a shiny auburn drumstick speckled with rosemary, and I sunk my teeth into the most tender, juicy, flavorful chicken I’d ever had the pleasure of tasting. I’m pretty sure I closed my eyes and I might have moaned aloud. When nothing but a clean bone remained, I licked the last bit of herbs and oil from my fingertips. Smiling, I realized I’d just had my own little Amelie moment-- giving in to the moment and fully enjoying the most simple of life’s pleasures.

*****

When you look at my life list, the preceding memory is summarized as “Visit France.” Followed by a check mark.

That check mark contains so much. It’s the crisp Montmartre air and taste of that chicken eaten greedily on a street corner. It’s the few hours we were accidentally locked inside our friends’ apartment in the 15th Arrondissement, and the laughs we shared over authentic crepes and bowls of cider. It’s a kiss under the Eiffel Tower. It’s the difference in the way Paris felt to me as a twenty-year-old versus a twenty-nine-year-old.

Does a check mark on my life list speak these nuances? Will I remember each of these precious details as I grow old, or will I focus only on the fact that France was a check off my life list?

I’m not wholly opposed to life lists or bucket lists or whatever you choose to call them. I think it great to think about what you want out of your life and make a plan to move you towards that. However, I’ve sort of been questioning why I personally keep a life list. I’m starting to think more critically about the way life lists can cut into spontaneity, and how they affect the experience and memories of specific events. 

At their roots, life lists and bucket lists are the things we want to do before we die. They are a way to try and fill our lives with activities-- and therefore memories-- that we think will be important to us during our lifetime. However,  I think it's delusional to sit down in advance and pretend to assume we know what experiences will shape us, and we certainly can’t predict which actions will turn into memories that matter.

The thought and planning that goes into creating a life list is based on our self-definition at the time of writing it. A life list can be created to push your comfort zone, but there’s no possible way to plan the kind of spontaneity that ends up shifting and expanding the way you see yourself. I’d never have believed myself to be the kind of person who would ever want to go white water rafting, but on a trip to Colorado with my family I found myself bobbing down a river, furiously trying to remain in the raft while slicing my oar into the rapids. And, guess what? I had a blast, and I hope to do it again someday.

Despite my Type-A, somewhat controlling, over-planning nature, I’ve gotten much more out of experiences that have evolved naturally or spontaneously rather than those that I’ve deliberated. Sometimes it has been a small moment, like my experience white water rafting, or a more significant event, like the time Mark and I were offered passes into Grant Park on Election Night in 2008, where we got to be a part of the crowd as Obama was declared President. I still get goosebumps as I recall the deafening cheers, happy tears, and Obama's speech that followed. Neither of these memories are commemorated in any form on my life list.

Aside from the removal of spontaneity, the other issue I have with life lists is the way that I process experiences and goals from my list. Once I achieve or complete something, I add a check mark and move on to the next thing. In being so deliberately action-oriented, am I taking the appropriate time to acknowledge what I have done? I take the blame for part of this, as I haven’t been keeping up with writing and other forms of documenting life, but I also recognize that life lists by nature are skewed towards the future-- they are lists of things you haven’t done yet, places you want to go, hobbies to someday be explored. I don’t want to be in such a rush to achieve that I forget to savor the moment, to take pause to remember the taste of the chicken devoured on Montmartre street corner.

I don’t mean for this critique to be a wholesale takedown of life lists and bucket lists. I think they can really work for some people who thrive on the challenge of it. But I want to start treating my own list as an outline instead of a rule book, as a reflection tool instead of a planning tool. Since I already have a list created, perhaps it's time to take an indefinite hiatus from it and let life happen for a while, inviting in serendipity, discovery, and "yes moments." I wouldn't be surprised to pull out my list in the future to discover that I'd achieved more than a handful of items without any force or expectations, and a number of stories to tell.

I want my life to be more than a series of check marks; I want it to be full of the stories that live in the spaces between them.

Link Love : October

Dublin in 60 Seconds by Visit Dublin

{I miss it there so much! Cannot believe we've been back for 1 year and 1 month already.}

Link Love is a monthly series featuring my favorite links and bits around the interwebs.

Somehow, the last day of the month escaped me yesterday (I didn't even wish anyone a Happy Halloween, for shame), so my Link Love list is a day later than normal. But it's an extra good group of links this month.

***

The Blogger's Drinking Game via Desert Dandelion.
"Take a drink every time: 1. A blogger writes a post about rethinking blogging. 2. A blogger writes a post with an extremely complex, unnecessary, but pinnable Photoshop graphic... [etc.]" Because we have to laugh at ourselves sometimes, right? I know I'm guilty of a few of these! PS - Despite another article linked below decrying internet meanness, I think this post is pretty tongue-in-cheek and not mean-spirited, just to clarify :) <--- that's Blogger's Drinking Game #5, right there! :)

Stocking a Whole Foods Pantry via Naturally Ella.
"For me, cooking is about having fun, being creative, and eliminating waste in the kitchen. I thought today I would share with you some of my basic pantry staples, along with a few extra items, that help my kitchen a creative zone and not a “we have nothing to eat” zone."

10 Life Lessons You Should Unlearn by Martha Beck via The Huffington Post.
"In the past 10 years, I've realized that our culture is rife with ideas that actually inhibit joy. Here are some of the things I'm most grateful to have unlearned..."

Slaves of the Internet, Unite! by Tim Kreider via The New York Times.
"People who would consider it a bizarre breach of conduct to expect anyone to give them a haircut or a can of soda at no cost will ask you, with a straight face and a clear conscience, whether you wouldn’t be willing to write an essay or draw an illustration for them for nothing."

Full & Quiet via Bird is the Word.
"I’m living pieces of the life I always wanted and pieces of the one I never knew I wanted. A life that is full and somehow quiet, in the most perfect of ways."

Writing Advice, Applied to Life via The Daily Simple.
"“Every sentence must do one of two things – reveal character or advance action.” – Kurt Vonnegut. Applied to life: Make everything you do or say matter. This is something I’ve learned most from my husband who, when in conversation, listens more than he talks but when he talks he makes it count."

You are all completely insufferable by Mark Morford via The San Franscisco Gate (h/t Amy).
"It is 2013. Hate is, unfortunately, more than a bad habit, a harmless trend enjoyed by a few lowlifes seeking attention. It has become a national modality, our shared online identity..."

Prepared and Packaged with Love via Darling Magazine.
"Dreamed up by a lovely couple who embody what being a lover of all things food is and sharing that love with friends, food swap has become a highlight of the month for this girl.  A common bond and affinity for creating in the kitchen brings us together once a month on that blessed Saturday morning when we arrive to someone’s home with goods in hand."

The Goodreads Challenge and Other Bookish Ramblings.

This year I have been on a road trip across the United States. I’ve climbed the Pacific Crest Trail. I cared for a quadriplegic, stood up for myself in the board room, cooked in Paris, investigated a family’s murder, and immersed myself in a secret literary society.

This year I fell head-over-heels in love with reading again.

A few weeks ago, I completed my Goodreads Challenge to read 30 books in 2013. Seeing as though there are still 9-ish more weeks to the year, I think I’m safe in declaring that challenge a smashing success. I’ve already reached 32 completed books and I know I’m going to read at least a few more before 2013 concludes.

I see people on Goodreads reading 50+ books in a year, and I don’t pretend that 30-ish books is anything extraordinary, but it was a lot of books for me. I can’t remember a time when I read as much as I did this year. It’s pretty likely that I read more during my childhood days of tearing through the Boxcar Children, the Babysitters Club, Sweet Valley High, and Nancy Drew, but I don’t have a clear memory of the time I spent reading when I was young; it was such a given, normal part of life back then.

Now as an adult, I have to make much more of an effort to create the time and space to read. I adore books, as my giant bookcase proves, but I’ve spent a lot more time as a book collector/hoarder than a reader. I set reading goals the past few years, and much more modest ones at that, but failed to meet them until this year.

There wasn’t anything specific that I changed in order to meet my reading goal other than to just sit down and read. Tea, a lit candle, and a cozy chair help quite a bit too. And, obviously, I had to spend less time watching TV and internetting (which is all for the better). Even a few pages here and there added up to a completed book eventually, and I used the crap out of my Kindle and my library’s digital ebook collection. I even found that enjoyed working out at the gym because it gave me 40 minutes of uninterrupted reading time, which made exercising at least 37% less dreadful.

In the past I’ve often picked up a book that didn’t pull me in right away, and I’d slog through 100-150 pages before forgetting about it altogether. I lost a lot of reading momentum by trying to stick with what didn’t engage me, and the stretches of time between books grew longer. This year, I felt no shame in giving into my “bad reading habits,” such as abandoning those snoozy books or starting to read four different books at once until one book sucked me all the way in. I let myself read a dozen YA books without embarrassment. All that mattered was keeping up momentum and enjoying my time.

A secondary blessing of this year of reading was encountering a whole community of book Youtubers (who calls themselves Booktubers) back in about February or March. I started getting into Youtube as more than a source of cat videos and random tutorials by first following a small handful of beauty girls and comedy-types in the last two years, and then at some point I came across a vlogger who focused primarily on books. She did book reviews, showed books she’d recently bought or planned on reading, and discussed topics relevant to readers and the publishing industry as a whole. Better yet, she acted as my doorway to a whole world of geeky and overly-enthusiastic book lovers like myself. As someone who is notoriously bad at book clubs (as soon as the book club picks the monthly selection, my brain shouts, “Don’t tell me what to read!”), it was super fun to see people expressing their bookishness in a new-to-me way.

No surprise, I’m toying with the idea of starting a Youtube channel dedicated primarily to my love of books (though I’m sure travel, food/cooking, and some creative, artsy-fartsy vlogging would be included at times). I’ve been thinking about doing this for probably six months now, and even reserved and started setting up a Youtube channel, TheBookWanderer, back in August. I set up the requisite rainbow bookcase background for filming, and even made a short, very amateur video of my 4th of July weekend to practice using my DSLR for video and working with editing software.

Now I just need to sit myself in front of the camera and make it happen. It’s nerve-wracking, and I have yet to get over that inevitable self-consciousness of being on camera (and then having to look at and hear myself as I edit-- yikes). I suppose that’s why I’m writing about it now. If I make my ambitions a little more public, I will hopefully feel more accountable and committed to making it happen. Because I really do think I want to give it a try, despite the fact that I’m 30 and already over the hill in the Youtube/vlogger land of spring chickens.

But I’m totally on a tangent here-- this post was supposed to be about the Goodreads Challenge! Once we get closer to the end of December, I’ll likely compile a post with my favorite and least favorite reads of the past year. Or maybe I’ll even film a video about it ;)

Listed // Little Happy Things

Long shadows painted across the living room walls at sunset.
Listening to the conversations dog owners have with their dogs while they're out on a walk.
Getting a new magazine in the mail.
Finding the perfect gift for someone.
When it's dark enough to see the stars.
The hiss of car tires on wet pavement.
People who giggle at their own jokes.
When I hear a song that takes me right back to a specific time and place.
The few moments of calm quiet encapsulated in the time it takes to make a cup of tea.



Flannel sheets.
When I'm mistaken for an employee at Barnes & Noble because I look like I know where I'm going (because I do).
Feeling the first sip of cold water (or hot tea) slide down my throat in the morning.
Slipping into pajama pants straight out of the dryer.
Milk swirling down into iced coffee.
The first shower after getting my hair cut.
The tiny crackle of the spine when I open a new hardcover book.
When the sun shines through tree leaves and makes them almost translucent.



When people leave me handwritten notes.
Finding something I've lost as soon as I give up hope of finding it.
Waking up slowly on Sunday mornings.
Fresh lines in the carpet left by the vacuum cleaner.
Finding and picking up coins on the ground.
Specific words/phrases in my vocabulary that I've adopted from someone else (bonus points if the word isn't real except to that person).
The first moment when I can smell something amazing baking in the oven.

What little things make you happy?

Currently... {10/08}

 ... in bed, sick. After managing to stay healthy for a week after Mark came down with a cold, I seem to have caught the same bug. I have about four different heartier blog posts I want to write, but I seem to only have enough brain power to put together this "Currently" post (and watch the Katy Perry documentary-- no shame).

... reading "Tiny Beautiful Things" by Cheryl Strayed and "It Chooses You" by Miranda July. I just finished "Sisterland," which I enjoyed because I like Curtis Sittenfeld's writing, but I didn't love the story.

... adoring my baby white pumpkins from Trader Joe's. $0.70 for a great deal of joy :)

... watching nothing. Homeland season 3 is disappointing me; there's a giant hole in my heart where Breaking Bad used to be; and 100% of the new fall shows seem awful. Is there anything on TV (or Netflix) worth watching? (Edited to add: I forgot I do regularly watch and love Modern Family and Parks & Rec, but I still feel in need of suggestions.)

... listening to the new HAIM and Lorde albums on repeat.

... looking for new blogs to read. Wanted: Good writing and/or good photography, honest and authentic, little to no sponsored posts/affiliate linking, real life. Bonus: A sense of humor and creativity.

... eating lots of pumpkin-flavored goodies, much to my surprise. I've expressed my distaste for Pumpkin Spice Lattes in the past (not because I'm rebelling against their popularity-- though the fanaticism over them IS ridiculous, I'm just more of a salted caramel girl myself) and I ABHOR pumpkin pie. And yet, I can't stop buying pumpkin-flavored products, especially from Trader Joe's. I've got pumpkin croissants for breakfast, honey-roasted pumpkin ravioli for dinner, and pumpkin-spice rooibos tea (from Fresh Market, not TJ's).

... thinking about life choices.

... planning to DIY my own mala necklace. As much as I love Tiny Devotions malas beads, they are just too much money for me to spend right now. So I'm taking matters into my own hands and making one (or even two, since I have a set of Tibetan seed beads and a set of sandalwood beads on order).

... loving my new mason jar tumbler from The Mason Bar Company. My friend Sarah let me know that they were having a 30% off sale recently, so I ordered two lids (regular and wide-mouth) and straws (green and purple) to turn a few of my mason jars into handy to-go cups. They're awesome.

... dreaming of being healthy again, so I can get outside for fall walks and crisp air.

Link Love : September

 A Letter from Fred by Green Shoe Studios on Vimeo

Link Love is a monthly series featuring my favorite links and bits around the interwebs.

***

Creating with a Kid via Alisa Burke.  
"Teaching art is truly my passion and I've spent a lot of years sharing with students how to let go, get messy and lose yourself in the process. While I have loved every single moment of teaching, nothing compares to the absolute joy I get from fostering creativity in my daughter, Lucy." I've been thinking a lot about motherhood and creative work, so I'm bookmarking this one for future reference.

Julie+Nate // Portland Engagement Session via Phil Chester. 
Such a beautiful, textured, and emotive engagement photo set, and I adored the Oregon backdrop, of course.

The Habits Of Supremely Happy People via Huffington Post.  
"The pursuit of pleasure, research determined, has hardly any contribution to a lasting fulfillment. Instead, pleasure is "the whipped cream and the cherry" that adds a certain sweetness to satisfactory lives founded by the simultaneous pursuit of meaning and engagement."

Live Slowly via Wikichen.  
"There’s a peace in the mundane and the silence and the immediacy of the moment that brings about questions I never thought to ask myself, having always been caught up in the hustle and bustle of modern life. I stopped making time to take life more slowly, to see things more clearly, to spend time more casually. I stopped living at the cost of my happiness. Why do I always need to be going somewhere?"

Caramelized Fig Ice Cream via Happy Yolks.  
"I share this with you, friend, because I know that little girl is looking for you right now. She is bounding down the aisles of your life to tell you, remind you, that despite your brokenness, you are a bright shining light in this world. You are worthy of joy and happiness. Despite your mistakes and wrong turns, you deserve the sun and the moon and all of the stars." 

Not Everyone Will Agree with this Food Philosophy via Paige Lysaght.  
A refreshing and honest post from a health coach admitting that it's not always easy to be health-minded. 

Growing Your Family Through Love via Living on Love.  
"This is where we met James. James was the smallest, most energetic student in my first first grade class. And one day at recess he asked if I would be his mom. As it turned out, James had always needed a mom. In all of our dreaming, Chris and I hadn’t yet thought much about becoming parents, but here was a little boy, who needed a family. It seems sometimes your dreams choose you."

Surviving Whole Foods via Huffington Post.  
"Whole Foods is like Vegas. You go there to feel good but you leave broke, disoriented, and with the newfound knowledge that you have a vaginal disease." HILARIOUS.

Farewell, Summer.

I'm one of those people who dreads the coming of summer. My body and spirit despise Chicago's heat and humidity, the sunshine hurts my eyes (I know, I'm such a grump), and everything feels just plain sticky. It's hard to enjoy all the season's many offerings when you're spending most of your time figuring out how you can maximize your time spent in air-conditioned spaces. My body temperature matters SO MUCH to me, people. I wish I were kidding.

Somehow, though, I ended up falling in love with this particular summer. Not surprisingly, it was one of the mildest and most pleasant summers in my memory-- other than last year spent in Ireland, but NOTHING can top that. Overall, I think we did a good job of taking advantage of everything it had to offer. Since I wasn't blogging over the summer, lots of these little moments went mostly unrecorded and unshared (except on Instagram). As we head into fall, I wanted to take a moment to remember some of my favorite parts of the past season.

Going to a performance of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra.
Lots of picnics.
Napping under the trees.
A trip to my family's lake house in Wisconsin over the 4th of July holiday.
Bonfires, s'mores, and boat rides.
Watching fireworks across the lake.
Filming and editing my first video, a (unfortunately shaky) montage of our weekend at the lake house.
Sitting and daydreaming on the shore of Lake Michigan.
A serene and secluded hike at Illinois Beach State Park.
Countless trips to the farmer's market for fresh eggs and (most importantly) fresh donuts.
Starting up our CSA again with a late-season share.
Falling obsessively in love with cheddar bacon chive scones from Prairie Bread Kitchen.
A dinner party with friends that left us laughing late into the night.
A picnic and disc golf date with our friends and their baby boy.
Reading some good books (Wild, Tell the Wolves I'm Home, Every Day, and A Homemade Life).
Celebrating 30th birthdays.
A loud but fun family dinner in Greektown.
Getting to meet a blog friend who was visiting Chicago for the first time and show her my town.
A patio brunch with my husband's best friend and his girlfriend + kids at my favorite restaurant.
Weekly homemade pizzas (our favorites: roasted poblano/corn/goat cheese and fig/prosciutto/brie).
Finally finishing decorating the living room.
Enjoying several quiet days on my own while my husband traveled to New York twice for work.
A solo trip to Portland, Oregon, and the Oregon coast for the Story Excavation Retreat.
Making new creative friends at the retreat and dreaming up plans to get together for an art date.

Thanks for the memories, Summer 2013.

Coveting // Fall 2013

In celebration of the coming of my favorite season, I put together this collage of some products and trends I'm loving for autumn. As you can probably tell from these products or from checking out my fashion board on Pinterest, I love incorporating masculine touches into my style in the fall-- leather details, rugged workshirts, military-inspired pieces, and perfectly broken-in boots. I think it's my inner Midwesterner coming out ;)

I'm still on a minimalism kick, so this collection is squarely in the fantasy category, but it's still fun to daydream, right? In my daydream, I'd invite you over for a cup of spiced tea and a good chat, and I'd make sure you'd leave with an armful of fresh baked French bread and homemade applesauce.

Window Shopping // Fall 2013
1. Skinny rings & midi rings - I'm seeing these all over the place, but I like these options from Etsy: rose-gold ring stack from LoveRiSING, an arctic blue ice ring from MaryJohn, or this chevron midi ring from Amoorella.
2. Chamomile & Fig candle by Paddywax from Urban Outfitters.
3. "I Walked and I Thought" mug by Rob Ryan.
4. Tomboy Workshirt from Madewell.
5. Mason Jar Tumbler by The Mason Bar Company.
6. Rustic Full Kitchen Apron by meyertextileco.
7. Petty Bootie by Sam Edelman from Nordstrom.
8. E. Homes Laptop case from Wheelmen and Co.

Oregon.

I'm home from my art and writing retreat in Oregon. In many ways, it turned out exactly as I thought it would-- lots of emotions, SO MANY TEARS, and opening up about the difficult situations of this past year (or at least trying to). But I ended up getting far more out of the retreat than I was expecting. Whereas my first time at Squam Art Workshops opened me up to the possibilities of a creative life, this retreat kept bringing me back to myself-- reminding me that I am okay exactly how I am, that people will still want to be friends with me even if I'm ME, and that my whole life will make a lot more sense and be far more enjoyable once I come to love myself a little bit better.

I have about a bazillion other takeaways from the retreat, but as I learned while I was there, I tend to first process visually (through photographs or art) before the words and stories can take shape. So for now, all I can share are these photos. In the meantime, I'll be digging deep into my journal to process the rest of what I learned, and I'm sure the stories and lessons will begin to float out over the next few months.

PS - The last photo is courtesy of Mia M., one of my bunk mates. We took about a dozen self-timer/multi-shot photos to get this one, and I LOVE it.