Link Love : January

Vogue Original Shorts: Lena Dunham and Hamish Bowles star in "Cover Girl"

(My Lena love continues. Also check out her Vogue feature here.)

Why I Used to be Funnier via Start Traveling Light  
"That supposed humor that I was sharing was not about laughing or making myself or others happy.  The ultimate reason for humor.  It was about fear of being real and hiding behind a wall of sarcasm."

Lately: Meditations on "Instructions for Living a Life" via Analiese at The Necessary Wild
"Lately, I'm astonished by my intense pleasure in solitude, by the absolute necessity of silence. By subtle messages from the universe telling me to read and write, read and write, with an intensity I've not felt in awhile. By the way a piece of literature can take my breath away, and not give it back for days."

That's What She Said {Video One} and {Video Two} via SoulPancake and Darling Magazine
"I will repeat these words until I am no longer reluctant
Until these words are a given
Until they are no longer foreign in my mouth
I will repeat these words
I have a beautiful body
I have a beautiful body
I have a beautiful body
Until ownership becomes a privilege
Until this skin becomes a perfect home
Weathered and worn over time
A perfect home
Whose walls I know well
Whose stair case
And old floors creak my favorite song
I am my own favorite song that I am just now learning all the words to
But I wanna sing you
Sing you til the song sticks
I have a beautiful body. Period."

This is a new video series on the SoulPancake YouTube channel that features real conversations with women about topics like beauty, body image, and confidence. The main reason I love the first two videos is for the AMAZING spoken word poetry by Natalie Patterson at the end of each video (see minute 5:30 in the first video, and 5:25 in the second). Transcripts for the poems can be found here: Beautiful Body and I Dare You. I highly recommend watching first and then going back and reading the words of the poems. Very powerful. Natalie is also featured in this interview in Darling Magazine.
 
Selfie via Dove: Campaign for Real Beauty project {video}
"Selfie captures the digital journey of a group of high school girls and their mothers, as they create a new type of selfie - one that celebrates their unique beauty." Selfies get such a bad rap, but I really love the people who discuss the power in capturing your own image. I also really identified with the discussion of how daughters pick up on their mothers' insecurities about their own bodies.

Ethical Fashion and Minimalism: A Natural Fit? via Into Mind
"Minimalism can lay a crucial foundation by encouraging us to buy less and buying higher quality. Ethical fashion takes this one step further by looking at the producers and planet, and giving us a more complete experience of the things we do own. And with that complete, satisfying experience, it becomes so much easier to own less, yet have more."

It’s Enough Already With “Giving Zero Fucks” via Life Less Bullshit
"I’ve had it with apathy – which is really just a byproduct of fear. Because if we “don’t care” then we don’t have to do anything, we don’t have to change or grow, and we never have to show up and put it all out there. Giving zero fucks is just an excuse to hide in your safe little cocoon."

Project Life : Week 4

I struggled with this week's layout. I started out trying to make it lively and colorful, given that my 31st birthday was last Tuesday, but I just wasn't feeling bright and happy no matter how much I tried. Once I let myself go with a mostly black and white scheme, it all fell into place.

We had a few fun happenings this week, mostly involving food-- Mark made me a chocolate cake with almond cream and chocolate ganache from scratch for my birthday, Saturday's breakfast was Texas toast French toast and sausage, we had some happy hour fries and cider, and we took a French cooking class together downtown. However, some sad moments were also documented, including my reflections on my birthday / the 1-year anniversary of my grandfather's death (I included a paragraph from my blog post next to his photo), and an awful post-surgery diagnosis from my vet that my kitty Misfit has a very rare type of cancer. *Sigh.* I don't know how to deal with that news yet.

Items used: Midnight Edition Core Kit, Photo Pocket Pages variety pack, generic black ink pad, Canon Selphy printer, Wacom tablet, Thickers (similar), pinwheel button from Kelly Purkey's December Daily 2012 kit, vellum paper, polka dot Smash tape, Liz Lemon Project Life "Blerg" card via CaitididDesigns (my old blog).

Custom Touches: I used a bunch of different techniques this week. The weekly title uses a card from the Midnight kit. The words were printed on vellum and overlaid onto the card with double-sided tape. Also printed onto vellum were the "More Snow" words on the winter trees photo and the paragraph next to the photo of my grandfather. The light green background card is a trimmed paint swatch. The "You'll Need Coffee Shops" quote from Jamie Tworkowski was found on Pinterest, and comes from the organization To Write Love On Her Arms. The "Happy Birthday" illustration was a card from Sephora I received last week that I trimmed and mounted onto a striped card from the Midnight kit. Lastly, I used my Wacom tablet to write "Hello" and printed it onto a laser transparency sheet, and layered it with a card from the Midnight kit. The polka dot tape and the number Thickers were adhered to the transparency sheet (I mainly used a transparency because I couldn't decide what paper I wanted to use as a background. It took a lot of experimenting for me to figure it out).

Going Natural : "No More Dirty Looks" Book Review

"No More Dirty Looks: The Truth about you Beauty Products and the Ultimate Guide to Safe and Clean Cosmetics" is considered one of the primers on greener, cleaner beauty. Though my already-present skepticism surrounding conventional beauty products made me receptive to the authors' point of view, I feel that they did a good job at making the information accessible and relatable to those who might be unaware of (or don't [yet] care about) the risks of conventional beauty products. The information is eye-opening, and I have the feeling that anyone who picks up this book might either feel a panicky urge to dump all of their dirty beauty products, or they will want to take a shovel and bury the book deep in their backyard, denying that there's any reason to ever part ways with their beloved face cream.

That said, the authors do a really good job at giving you a level-headed approach to natural, cleaner beauty-- no drastic measures needed. They cover the why, the what and the how. One of the best points I took away from the book is to take a slow and strategic approach to the products you want to change. After learning a bit about the common controversial ingredients and assessing for yourself the risks associated with them, the authors recommend starting with the products that you use most often on the largest area of the body, particularly those that sit on the skin for extended periods of time-- so, things like moisturizer and deodorant are a good place to start, whereas mascara and eye shadow could be further down on the list.

I appreciate that the authors aren't fanatical; they acknowledge that if you only wear that perfect red lipstick a few times a year (and it makes you feel like a million bucks when you do), then go ahead and keep it in your beauty box. They also give extensive recommendations for natural beauty products that they're fans of, and many brands are consistent with those I've heard recommended by the natural beauty vloggers I watch on YouTube-- brands like Jane Iredale, Dr. Hauschka, Bare Minerals, RMS Beauty, and more.

A few of the main points I'm taking away from the book:

1) The cosmetics industry is a self-regulating industry. The group appointed to oversee ingredient safety is the "Cosmetics Ingredient Review" (CIR), made up of chemists and medical experts appointed and funded by their own industry lobbying group, the Personal Care Product Council; no independent review system exists. In the span of 32 years, the CIR assessed 1,468 ingredients for safety, which equals out to 11% of the possible ingredients in personal care products. Let me repeat-- only 11% of all ingredients have been tested for safety. (Side note: As expected, the PCPC lobbying group spends a great deal of money and effort campaigning against proposed cosmetic regulations.)

And if you think the FDA has a say in what products reach the market, here is their stance: "with the exception of color additives and a few prohibited ingredient, a cosmetics manufacturer may, on his own responsibility, use essentially any raw material as a cosmetics ingredient and market the product without approval" (20).

2) Only 9 cosmetic ingredients have been banned from use in the USA, compared with over 1,000 ingredients in Europe.

3) Substances placed on the skin can absolutely be absorbed into the body. If you don't think that's true, just consider how a nicotine patch works, or Ortho Evra birth control patches. Babies are being born with toxins already present in their system.

4) When ingredients are tested for safety, bio-accumulation is often overlooked. This means, for example, when rats are injected with a chemical to determine safe dosage amounts, there aren't additional studies showing how continued exposure affect their bodies. We humans use body products every single day, so bio-accumulation is a very real concern for us-- particularly women, who typically use about three times as many products daily as men. The way different chemicals interact in the body is something else that is often overlooked in studies.

5) Chemicals/Ingredients to avoid include: 1,4-dioxane (occurs in products with the ingredients PEG, polyethylene, and polyethylene glycol, among others); aluminum/aluminum salts; chemical sunscreens (a.k.a. PABA, oxybenzone); coal tar; diethanolamine (DEA)/triethanolamine (TEA)/monoethanolamine (MEA)/ethanolamine (ETA); formaldehyde (a.k.a. cormalin, formic aldehyde, methyl aldehyde, oxymethane); fragrance; hydroquinone; lead and mercury; nanoparticles; parabens; petroleum distillates; p-phenylenediamine; phenoxyethanol; propylene glycol (PG)/ethylene glycol/diethylene glycol/polyethylene glycol (PEG); sodium laureth sulfate and sodium lauryl sulfate; talc; toluene; triclosan.

These products are in literally everything from toothpaste to hair dye to children's shampoo to deodorant to mascara to sunscreen to lipstick. Since this list is totally overwhelming-- at least to me-- I advise printing this guide to keep in your wallet.
 
6) Various risks associated with the above chemicals (with many more specifics in the book): known carcinogen; neurotoxin; found in human breast tissue; suspected carcinogen; endocrine disruptor; known human carcinogen; alters brain development in fetal mice; known carcinogen connected to several types of human cancers; irritant and allergen; bioaccumulation; eye clouding; lead poisoning; organ failure; muscle tremors; mental deterioration; miscarriages; smaller babies; gene damage; migration in body tissue; hormone mimic; found in breast cancer tissue; undifferentiated connective tissue disease; bronchial problems; skin and eye irritant; reproductive and developmental toxicity; birth defects; systemic toxicity; death.

And this isn't just a list of hypothetical effects-- these problems have been documented in studies by the EPA, the Agency for Toxic Substances & Disease Registry, the Journal of Chemical Neuroanatomy, and more (check the book for specific risks and references).

7) "Fragrance" is a beast of a category in itself. Why? Not only is it present in almost every single conventional beauty product, but fragrance is also protected by law as a trade secret. Therefore companies do no have to divulge what makes up their fragrance-- it can literally be any number of several hundred possible chemicals. And if you happen to have an allergy to one of those, good luck pinpointing the culprit; it's next to impossible since companies are under no obligation to divulge their formulas and ingredients. Of all the products discussed in the book, fragrance/perfume is the only one that the authors strongly encourage readers to reconsider and limit usage because it doesn't just affect you, it affects everyone around you as well.

8) Many chemicals in makeup and personal care products work against the natural processes of the body, locking us into a cycle of dependency on the product. Great for product sales, not so great for our bodies. Some of you might have heard this in regards to shampoo-- most drugstore shampoos strip your hair of it's natural, beneficial oils, causing your scalp to overcompensate by over-producing oil, making you feel like a greaseball who desperately needs to shampoo again. Similar cycles also happens with other products like toners (which are largely made up of alcohol and severely dehydrate your skin) and moisturizer.

9) Again, if you are overwhelmed thinking about switching your body and beauty products, the authors recommend taking into account the amount of product you use/how much of the body you cover with the product, and how long the product remains on your body.

10) You can make your own Benetint using BEETS! I don't know why, but I got such a kick out of learning this. After reading this DIY tip in the book, I found instructions online here and here. I don't know if I'll ever try it, but I love just knowing that it's possible (and so simple and natural!).

A few small criticisms of the book:
- Though it's no fault of the authors, the book was published in 2010, so some of the information could potentially be outdated. Products, formulas, and even laws could have shifted over the past 3-4 years. However, I still think the information is applicable and still mostly relevant.
- Though there tons of footnotes and references to studies-- which is something I'd require from a book like this-- I still felt it was a little light on explaining the science behind some of their accusations and suggestions within the body of the book. It's simple enough for your average non-chemist reader though, which I think most people would appreciate.
- I found the last section of the book covering "Lifestyle" to be a bit fluffy and unnecessary. I think we all know that we'd be better off with less stress, more exercise, deeper breaths, and more vegetables and omega-3s.

Overall, I highly recommend No More Dirty Looks to anyone who regularly wears makeup and uses personal care products. So, basically everyone. I don't think most women pay enough attention to what they're putting on their bodies. 

Other similar/related books that I have on my To Read list:
- There's Lead in Your Lipstick by Gillian Deacon
- Not Just a Pretty Face: The Ugly Side of the Beauty Industry by Stacy Malkan
- The Truth About Beauty by Kat James

And, as a bonus, here are a few recent blog posts pertinent to this topic:
- Putting It on Your Skin Does Let It in: What's in Skin Care and How It Affects Your Health via HuffPo
- 10 Ingredients to Avoid in Beauty Products via VMac & Cheese
- Makeup, Uncovered via Darling Magazine

Next up, I'll be taking a survey of my current beauty routine and assessing what needs changing. I also plan to share the various websites and brands I've bookmarked and/or used to find natural alternatives.

I hope some of you are finding this information useful. I think it's really important, and hope that it is a topic that people-- especially women-- will give a little more thought to.

And If you made it all the way down to the end of this epic post, my hat goes off to you, friend :)

Loving Lately : Winter 2014

Watched: Spike Jonze's "Her." I saw this movie with Mark, who really enjoyed it and was stirred by the unconventional yet somehow believable love story. My initial post-movie reaction was that I didn't love it quite as much as he did (mainly because I couldn't wrap my head around the suggestion that a computer would ever be advanced enough to understand/possess feelings and emotions), but given that it's been several days since I saw it and I'm still thinking about the story, I'd absolutely say it is worth seeing. It led to a few good conversations about technology, relationships, and loneliness between Mark and myself.

Downloaded: Notegraphy app. This app lets you take any text (think: tweet or FB status) and turn it into a stylish text-based graphic. Though I haven't used it too much yet, I thought it would be useful for creating 3x4" text graphics to use in Project Life spreads.

Discovered: TracyXO's The Single Girl's Scrapbook. I've been a long-time fan of Tracy's Project Life pages through Instagram (her style is bold, girly, and modern), and she's now launched her own blog. Tracy's mission is to show what you can do with Project Life without a husband and/or children, which is sort of an underrepresented segment of Project Lifers. I love her idea and can't wait to see her blog grow. (And can you believe that she creates her awesome spreads without a computer?! You'd have to pry my Macbook out of my cold dead hands, but I'm super impressed by her work nonetheless.)

•••

Purchased: Isa Does It and Against the Grain cookbooks. Yep, a vegan and a paleo cookbook. They may be quite different in philosophy but they tend to cover the ways I like to eat-- vegetable heavy and clean, high-quality protein. I love Isa's vegan cookbooks because she uses fresh fruits, vegetables, and beans in really unique ways and I'm rarely disappointed in her recipes. As for Against the Grain, I've heard great things about this paleo cookbook and would like a few fresh ideas for protein- and vegetable-centric recipes.

Subscribed to: The Book Riot podcast. Thanks to Analiese for recommending this podcast to me! I'd heard of it in the past but hadn't checked it out yet. I really enjoy the hosts' discussions of bookish topics like publishing news, new releases, and studies pertaining to readers, and the hosts are as intelligent, hip and literate as you could hope for. Since I rarely encounter people in my real life who want to talk about books as incessantly as I do, I love listening to podcasts like this and watching "BookTube" YouTube videos.

•••

Read: Carry On, Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed by Glennon Doyle Melton. This is a book by the blogger behind Momastery, which is a site I'm not super familiar with other than the few posts she's had go viral on social media. Glennon writes in a way that hits you right in the heart-- truthful, raw, honest, baring it all. I'm only about halfway through the book, but I really love it so far. I hesitated in picking it up because I honestly thought it'd be heavily biblical/Christian-based, but I'm finding the book to be more spiritual than religious. Glennon's faith informs her experience, but it does not come across as preachy.

Cooked: Sweet Potato Hash and Eggs from Nom Nom Paleo. This has become our go-to "I have no idea what to make for dinner" meal. We typically use this recipe only as a suggestion, adding in different spice mixtures (we've tried Santa Maria steak seasoning, curry, piri piri seasoning, etc.), pepper and onions, or bacon/pancetta-- whatever fits our mood. We also switch up the eggs between fried, poached, and scrambled, but slow-cooked scrambled eggs tend to be our favorite. Then top it all with some hot sauce. It's simple, tasty and healthy.

Listened to: BANKS. To me, BANKS sounds like the love child of Lorde, Lana Del Rey, and The XX. A very sexy, sultry love child. My favorite songs so far are "Waiting Game" and "This is What It Feels Like." Check her out on Spotify or YouTube.

•••

What are you loving this season?

Project Life : Week 3

This past week was a bit more colorful than the last with a few more things to be happy about-- the return of GIRLS, a few days of nice weather, some new natural makeup items, my family visiting, seeing a matinee of "Her," and Misfit making it through her surgery like a sport. On my Week in Review card, I included the story of me leveling up my Crazy Cat Lady status and sleeping "sleeping" on the floor of the office with her to make sure she didn't try to chew off the bandage containing her pain medication patch, which she'd been trying to do all day, even while wearing the cone of shame. Needless to say, I got about zero sleep that night which caused Mark to witness a spectacular meltdown on my part upon his waking. Luckily, as always, he was able to dial back my crazy a little and watched the cat while I got a few hours of shut eye.

I'd hoped to add a date stamp under the "Monday" in the weather photo, but I quickly learned that my ink pad is not suitable for glossy photo paper. No matter how long I waited, it wiped off like a dry erase board. It might be time to invest in some Staz-On.

My apologies for the slightly murky, washed-out photos of the spread-- gray skies and snow are haunting the area again, and I wasn't able to squeeze in any good photos beforehand.


Items used: Midnight Edition Core Kit, Photo Pocket Pages variety pack, Smash date stamp, generic black ink pad, Canon Selphy printer, Sharpie Pens, white address labels, Dear Lizzy Thickers in Fantastic, Paislee Press "We Were Here" digital papers, star sequins.

Custom Touches: The weekly title was printed on a card from the Midnight kit using this technique/guide from The Lilypad. The "Rules of a Creator's Life" was a free download from Creative Something, and the GIRLS poster was grabbed from a Google Image search. The Week in Review card was something I threw together and printed on card stock with my laser printer. This was also the first week that I did the layout in InDesign instead of Photoshop, and boy, does that ever save time for me. For a great explanation of the advantages of InDesign over Photoshop, read this post from Pink Ronnie. I too used to be a print designer, and completely agree with everything she said. It means I have to add an extra step after editing my photos in Photoshop, but I'm so quick with InDesign that it actually makes the process easier, not more complicated.

Dust to Dust.

Today I turn 31 years old.

Today marks one year since Papa passed away.

I still haven’t found the proper way to cope with the strangeness of sharing my birthday with the loss of someone I love. The combination of the words “happy” and “birthday” directed my way is so odd to me right now (though of course I still appreciate the well wishes). It just doesn’t feel right to celebrate on a day of remembrance.

I’m still sad. I teared up yesterday when my grandma called me and the caller ID still reads “Grandma and Papa - Home.” I miss hearing him call me “Kitty Caiti” and the way he’d jokingly ask Mark what his name was every single time we came for a visit over the past 10 years. I miss his stubbornness, the vocabulary that was all his own, his inappropriate comments, and the way his eyes crinkled up when he laughed. My heart hurts with regret that I happened to be out to dinner toasting to 30 years of life instead of being with him in his final moments.

So, on a day meant for celebration, gratitude, and marvel at the beauty of the human experience, I now also grieve. Birth and death. Love and loss. Pleasure and suffering. It’s the cycle of life, really. And as someone who never hesitates to try to make meaning out of the difficulties life presents, I know I’ll someday come to appreciate this truth that’s now an inescapable part of my story. There’s beauty in the pain of loss: it wouldn’t exist if my heart wasn’t full enough with love to crack and splinter. It’s a reminder to live life wholeheartedly, to be resilient, to be dedicated to your family, and enjoy every day, which was all Papa could wish for his children and grandchildren. And I do love my life-- every messy, inspired, broken, joyful, beautiful, maddening part of it.

With teary eyes, I say cheers to 31, and cheers to a life well lived.

Going Natural : Why Bother?

One of my projects for the year is to move towards natural skincare, body, and beauty products. As I'm beginning the process, I admit I'm a bit overwhelmed by the new knowledge to acquire and the different way of thinking I need to adopt in order to make the transition. I've been finding it helpful to ask myself why I'm going natural-- why it matters to me-- so that I can face this process with intention and purpose. If I remember the reasons I want to do this, I'll be much more likely to make good choices when I'm at the store.

Honestly, I've never spent much time or brain power thinking about makeup in the past. It serves a very utilitarian purpose to me-- I wear it when I want to feel more put together, but I often go barefaced at home. I only experiment with makeup and skincare to the extent that I am looking for the routine that works best for me so I don't have to think about it much. But after watching far too many YouTube beauty videos, I often found myself jotting down products and brands into my iPhone Wunderlist to check out at the store-- brands I knew weren't the cleanest, even if I didn't know exactly why.

There wasn't one moment that acted as a wake up call to go natural; it was more like a skeptical voice that questioned if I was really doing what was best for me. I felt shallow ignoring my health for the sake of aesthetics. I'm not a total anti-corporate angry hippie, but I should explain that I come from a journalism background with an emphasis on strategic communication and advertising. Thanks to grad school seminars that forced me to look at advertising/marketing with a critical eye and the behind-the-scenes experience of working at an agency, I am incredibly sensitive to buzzword-filled product claims. I tend to believe that mega-brands have their bottom line as their primary concern, and health and safety fall below that; it's widely known that these companies employ powerful industry lobbies to ensure that the laws work in their economic favor (and ensure that federal regulation do not get in the way). It all leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

This is exactly what happened with my eating habits several years ago. Fast Food Nation, Supersize Me, and Food, Inc. all helped me come to the conclusion that the more whole and natural my food was, the better (and-- surprise!-- I felt so much better eating this way). I learned to avoid the faux healthy packaged products that claim things like, "Contains whole grains" because even with a little whole grain, a box of crackers still isn't as nutritionally beneficial as eating straight-up quinoa or brown rice. But packaged, branded products make a company a heck of a lot more money than eating foods in their (literal) natural state, so of course they'll continue to market these products.

These days, I've noticed more and more makeup and personal care brands labeling products as "paraben free," "sodium lauryl sulfate free," "fragrance free," etc. Again, this is a positive move to make, but it doesn't mean those products are now suddenly good for you. There are still lots of other scary chemicals in the same products; in fact, as I'm learning in the book "No More Dirty Looks," some companies just replace one chemical that the public is reacting negatively to with another that is a chemical equivalent and just as bad for you. Other companies have very good branding that makes them appear more natural than they are-- think Aveeno, Tarte, LUSH, Kiehl's, etc. It's just greenwashing (though these companies do fall on a spectrum, and it's up to each individual consumer to determine which ingredients are deemed acceptable to them and which pose too much of a risk).

Now I'm at the point where I need to learn more about the chemicals in beauty products so that I can react with scientific knowledge and not just corporate skepticism. "No More Dirty Looks" and the Environmental Working Group's cosmetic database have been good starting points, and I have printed out this "Toxins to Avoid" list. Many of the toxins listed have been found to be high-risk ingredients in studies, linked with various cancers, or shown to mimic estrogen or be hormone disruptors. The latter two issues are of particular concern to me as I'm trying to manage my Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome; it's concerning to think that the drugstore products I've put on my body have likely been absorbed and have altered my hormones. Another scary finding: Babies are being born with a growing number of toxins present in their body at birth. I don't know about you, but that shows me there's some definite truth to the concern that our bodies absorb chemicals from our environment. And I know I'd want to reduce that risk for my future kiddos.

As I'll talk about in my full review of "No More Dirty Looks," it is hard to assess exactly how harmful some of these ingredients are because studies do not test for issues like bio-accumulation (how these chemicals build up in our bodies over time) nor do they look at how one chemical might react with another. When an ingredient is deemed safe in small doses, it is usually ignored that women often use an average of 20 personal care products per day and therefore are likely getting doses much higher than what is deemed safe. Furthermore, product fragrances is a tricky issue because fragrance is considered a trade secret and therefore companies do not have to divulge any of the hundreds of ingredients/chemicals that may use to create their signature scents. I've always been highly sensitive to fragrance in everything from perfumes to cleaning products, to the point where I develop immediate headaches or my throat starts to close. That's a huge red flag for me that something in there is not good for me.

Over time, I'm hoping to come up with a list of brands that I personally trust and test out products from their lines as I use up and replace the old stuff. I'll go as natural as possible when I can (for example, trying out alcohol-free, plant derived witch hazel as a toner, which many natural beauty fans use) but-- call me crazy-- I admit that I like shampoo, deodorant, and foundation and want to keep using it. I want to find suitable natural versions of my regular products and not turn into a stinky, greasy version of my former self.

In upcoming Going Natural posts, I will review "No More Dirty Looks," take a survey of my current makeup and skin care routine to see what does and doesn't need changing, and I'll share what sites and brands I'm interesting in trying. Then, at some point later in the year, I'll review the natural products I've tried and give an update about how they're working for me. It'll be a challenge, but certainly possible with a little intention and education.

Note: The photo above shows my first few "going natural" purchases. No reviews yet, but I bought Physician's Formula Organic Wear Mascara, Ilia Lip Conditioner in Arabian Knights, and RMS Beauty certified organic Lipshine in Sublime (the last two are significantly pricier than I'd normally spend on makeup, but I had a decent BeautySage coupon and considered them early birthday presents). They sure are pretty, and I'm happy to see that I'll be able to find some natural beauty products with nice packaging (because, yes, I still do care about shallow things like that).

My Day In Tea

As I mentioned in my Project Life post yesterday, I recently documented "My Day in Tea" for my PL spread, but I thought it'd be fun to share here as well, since I KNOW some of you share in my crazy love of tea.

After purchasing SEVEN new teas thanks to Teavana's post-Christmas 75% off sale and a gift card left over from last year, I noticed that my tea consumption has gotten pretty ridiculous. I probably average about two cups a day on an average day-- caffeinated tea in the morning and decaf or herbal in the afternoon/evening, but since I just had to try out all the new varieties I'd bought, two cups somehow turned into five cups.

9:10 a.m. | Teavana Anjou Pear-adise Oolong

This was a surprisingly light flavored tea, and the pear taste was pleasant and not artificial tasting. It wasn't my favorite blend, but I will reserve judgement until I steep a larger amount for a stronger taste. 

11:27 a.m. | DAVIDsTEA Creme De Menthe Pu'erh
This came in our 24 Days of Tea advent calendar, and it had a fresh minty taste on top of a clean black tea, but there are other mint teas that I prefer over this one.

12:38 p.m. | Lipton Iced Tea
I have to drink cold liquids with lunch, so ice water or a basic iced tea is always on hand.

2:52 p.m. | Teavana Zingiber Ginger Coconut Rooibos
This tea is SO good, and is my new favorite blend. It has a sweet aroma of amaretto with a little bit of coconut, and the ginger adds a delicious taste without being "spicy," as ginger teas tend to be.

8:41 p.m. | Teavana Secret Fruit Garden Herbal Tea
The whole point of me placing the Teavana order was to add more fruity herbal teas to my collection, since I don't drink caffeine after lunch and love how fruit teas often satisfy my afternoon (and post-dinner) sweet tooth. I got three different fruity herbal teas and they're all pretty similar. This one is probably my favorite as it has hibiscus, apple pieces, papaya, pineapple, cherry and rosehip in it. It's a good mix of tart and sweet.

Unfortunately, since most of these teas were bought on sale/clearance, I don't have links to them, but Teavana and DAVIDsTEA always have amazing tea blends, and I recommend checking them out (especially DAVIDsTEA).

If you're a tea drinker, I'd love to hear what your current favorite tea is!

Project Life : Week Two

Project Life - Week Two is in the books, though I'm feeling kind of "meh" about it. This layout is fairly boring/not very pretty, mainly because this week was fairly boring/not very pretty-- we spent much of the week stuck inside due to the crazy low temps of the polar vortex. The only other notable event was that my poor kitty Misfit got sick again (that's her in a head-ring in the selfie on the left side). She's been battling an infection for much of the past two months and had a bout with Fatty Liver Disease that caused her to stop eating and drinking, which necessitated me feeding her with a syringe several times a day and administering dozens of meds. When she stopped eating and got nauseated on Monday I sort of panicked, thinking the Fatty Liver Disease was re-appearing. But with a few anti-nausea pills, she seems to be back on track now, and we have surgery scheduled for her later this week to hopefully fix her various ailments for good.

Since not much fun stuff was going on, I used the right side of the spread to celebrate my admittedly ridiculous tea addiction. I bought a bunch of new Teavana varieties in a post-Christmas sale, and I noticed that the cold weather plus the new teas resulted a sharp rise in my daily tea consumption. So I documented my day by way of tea, noting the time and variety on each photo. I ended up loving the way it came out and enjoyed coming up with different ways to take basically the same photo throughout the day. (Note: I'll do a blog post tomorrow or Wednesday with the tea photos and some comments about the teas I drank that day... In case anyone is as obsessed with tea as I am.)

Items used: Midnight Edition Core Kit, Photo Pocket Pages variety pack, Smash date stamp, Canon Selphy printer, Sharpie Pens, white address labels, Kelly Purkey stamps from Simon Says Stamp (that I don't think are for sale anymore), washi tape from TheWashiShop and Smash dot tape.

Custom Touches: The weekly title, "This Week," and "My Day in Tea" cards were printed on cards from the Midnight kit using this technique/guide from The Lilypad.

Captured : Under the Sea at the Shedd Aquarium.

I haven't been to the Shedd Aquarium in Chicago since one of those field trips back in elementary school, and let me tell you, it was just as captivating and hypnotizing as it was when I was 10 years old. And this time around, it was even more fun because I got to quote "Finding Nemo" the entire duration of our visit, much to Mark's embarrassment.

I highly recommend The Jellies exhibit-- I could have stood and watched them pulse and float around the tanks for hours. Here is a short video clip of some jellies swimming. Stunning.

Project Life : Week One

Project Life, here we go! While I was stuck inside on Monday due to the frigid Polar Vortex nonsense, I spent a few hours putting together Week 1. I'm happy with how it came out, and although it took a good chunk of time, I can see how the processes I'm setting up now will reduce the time I spend on my weekly spreads as we move through the year.

PS - Check out the HOMEMADE custom Harry Potter Monopoly game that Mark made me for Christmas!! He used the instructions here and here in case you are wondering (though he modified it a little to add in the Common Rooms instead of the "Utilities" that were there before). In our first game this weekend, I lost miserably, but was able to buy the Ravenclaw common room (my House) and it thrilled me to no end.

Items used: Midnight Edition Core Kit, Photo Pocket Pages variety pack, Thickers, Elise Cripe's quote cards, printable calendar via Oh The Lovely Things (resized in Photoshop to fit pockets), Anthropologie "Best Year Yet" birthday coupon from 2013, cheap gold ribbon, Smash date stamp, star sequins, Canon Selphy printer, Wacom tablet, Sharpie Pens.

Custom Touches: I resized the freebie calendar from Oh The Lovely Things in Photoshop to fit in the 3x4" pocket. The weekly title was printed on a card from the Midnight kit using this technique/guide from The Lilypad. The One Little Word/"Story" card was created using my Wacom tablet for the handwriting and printed with my laser printer.

If you are unfamiliar with Project Life and would like an introduction, please visit creator Becky Higgins' website.

Project Life 2014: Title Page & Some Thoughts.

Once upon a time last year, I gave Project Life a half-hearted try. I have just over a month of 2013 documented, but a combination of my grandfather's death and a poor printing routine made me quickly lose my footing with the project. I tried to switch to 100% digital before giving up, but since I had to re-create five or six spreads on the computer, I just never made it a priority. I'm glad to have those few weeks documented, but I'm also not too sad I missed out on the rest of the year.

This time, a few things are going to be different, specifically so I can keep the momentum and ensure that I document more than January.

1) The timing is better. While I can't ever be sure that nothing bad is going to happen, my extended family is mostly healthy and happy at this point in time. After the trauma of last year, I also feel more capable of handling the down swings, and I know I'll eventually look back at the good and bad parts in the album and be glad I recorded both times. There are going to be some exciting things happening this year, including another possible international project for Mark at work (but sadly not in Ireland) and my family is planning a European trip to what will most likely be Germany in early December.

2) I have a suitable printer. The most challenging part of last year's attempt at Project Life was that I didn't have a printer at home. Well, I did, but it is a laser printer, which worked for graphic elements and journaling cards but not photos, so I outsourced my printing (through both a local drugstore and a cheap online service at different times). Since I am design-y by nature, I wanted to add text to many of my photos, but I found that many prints came back to me with the text cut off, requiring me to redo the photo with a larger margin and re-print. Another time, my CVS order went missing altogether and required me to make 3 separate return trips to get the photos (which only happened because I finally insisted they print them on the spot while I was standing there). After all this frustration, I decided to buy a Canon Selphy printer on Amazon when it randomly dropped in price by a third, and so far it's been great. I love that there's an app and WiFi functionality that allows me to print straight from my phone (though Wifi is not working with my computer at the moment). For me, having control over the prints is essential. I still plan to use my laser printer for text-heavy elements to conserve ink on the Selphy.

3) I'm embracing a hybrid approach. Like I said, I enjoy adding text on photos and playing around with other elements digitally (such as adding "stamps" or banners onto photos). But I didn't want an entirely digital approach because I feel like I'd lose steam if I don't have some sort physical evidence of my progress. Hybrid allows me to maintain a fairly minimal look to my album (I'm not into scrapbook-style doo dads) and I will still be able to see my progress since I'll be printing the photos every week or two. In a nutshell, I will spend some time laying out my photos and printable cards (ex - Elise's quote cards or Paislee Press' calendar cards) in a digital spread in Photoshop, leaving room for some cards from my Midnight Project Life Core Kit. Then it's a quick print of the photos and printable items, adding a 3x4" handwritten card, and I'm good to go.

4) I have a loose design scheme. In addition to a minimal hybrid approach, I'm sticking with a few specific elements-- Bodoni and Gotham as my main fonts, with handwritten script and Bebas Neue as secondary fonts. Most of the album will play off my Midnight kit and be black, white and kraft paper, and I'll add an additional color or two depending on the season and photo spread. On the title page, I've definitely embraced gold as my accent color and it makes me happy. Having a few basic rules to follow will make it easier to create spreads, and will give the album a more cohesive look in the end. You can see my PL inspiration on Pinterest here.

5) I don't have many expectations. I'm hoping to create weekly spreads, but sometimes life just isn't that exciting for me. I mean, how many times can I photograph us watching a Blackhawks hockey game in our living room? So it will happen how it happens and I can always alter it to fit my desires. I do admit I'm still slightly apprehensive about Project Life making me feel like I'm too busy documenting life and not really living it. I don't want to feel burdened or like I'm intruding on the present moment by interrupting it with a photo. However, I do like that this project is almost entirely for me, and not some way to seek validation and Likes (ahem, Instagram).

Most likely, I will do updates here twice a month, but I'm not sure of the exact schedule yet. Cheers to giving it another try!



Notes: I am using the Project Life Cinnamon album because I LOVE FONTS, and it totally matches the DIY subway art I made for Mark last year. Awesome! On my title page, I've included the following freebie downloads-- Caylee Gray / Celebrate overlay, Scrap Stacks / Cheers to 2014 cards, Holly McCaig / Holiday printable cards, Mye De Leon / Autumn Dream journal cards, Fabric Paper Glue / Printable 2014 photo card, and The Creative Index / Holiday Tags. The stars on my "Caiti" card are some multi-colored metallic sequins that I've had forever.

Four Projects for 2014

Letterpress prints by hantverk on Etsy.

What I love about my One Little Word of "Story" is that I don't feel like I need to make major goals and resolutions. Aside from asking myself what actions I could take to make a better story for myself, I don't feel the pressure to obsessively plan (and subsequently feel guilty for dropping the ball) as I have in the past. The story will evolve over time, and the value will come from making meaning out of what happens, not in following a bunch of steps.

I do like a good project, though, so here are four general topics I hope to explore in 2014. 

1. Transitioning to natural makeup, body care and face care products.
Over the past 3-4 months, I've become marginally more interested in makeup than I had been previously. It's become something I enjoy playing with as opposed to something I do begrudgingly, and I can thank the beauty gurus on YouTube for that. However, as a health- and eco-conscious individual aware of the harmfulness of sulfates, parabens, petrochemicals, and issues like animal testing with conventional makeup brands, I had question how I could ignore what I've learned just because I had to have that Maybelline lippie I heard about on YouTube. So, I'm encouraging myself to learn even more about ingredients, research new options, and be mindful when buying makeup. I'll admit now-- the hardest part will be finding a natural shampoo for my super thick, long hair that doesn't suck, and dealing with the fact that the packaging for many smaller natural brands is, to put it nicely, lacking in the aesthetic department.

2. Refining my personal style and make purchases with intention.
As a pseudo-minimalist, I was quite good about not buying clothing last year, except for one spring department store trip for basics and one fall thrift store trip for some sweaters. The next step for me is putting a little thought into my personal style and removing pieces from my wardrobe that don't fit with that vision. I've been really inspired by the wardrobe capsule idea by Into Mind (though I'll warn you I find the blog/posts difficult to navigate). I love the idea of the personal uniform and only making marginal seasonal adjustments. I'll probably be sharing my wardrobe capsule project on the blog as I work through it.

On the buying side of the equation, I have similar thoughts about clothes (and other products) as I do makeup. I can't ignore the story behind the clothes, like the impact of fast fashion and how garment workers are treated in other countries. I want to be more committed to shopping locally and looking for American made products when possible. I already apply a similar shopping attitude to food-- trying to source produce as close to home as possible, and supporting local farmers and food providers over chains whenever I can, and now I hope to use that mindful buying when I make other purchases. I plan to read the book Overdressed: The Shockingly High Cost of Cheap Fashion and look into companies like Everlane when I need basic apparel.

3. Prioritize creativity. 
More specifically, I’ve learned that my sweet spot lies somewhere between the verbal and the visual, and I want to pursue several projects that combine the two-- blogging + photography, vlogging, and trying Project Life again. I'm put writing in this category too, since I think it takes a vivid imagination to be a good writer. When I need to give my creative brain a break, I will keep crocheting my granny square quilt and read a lot of books, especially a few classics and some literature from other countries, as I feel not very well-read in those two areas.

4. Doing one activity with Mark per month that we've never done before.
This is a goal aimed to bring more fun back to our relationship, as well as get us to try new things. A few ideas we've had are going to a Second City improv show, kayaking, learning to bake macarons, and taking a road trip somewhere new. We plan to sit down on the first of every month and look at what's ahead for each of us individually, and then we'll pick out a new activity for us at that time. For January, we'll be taking a French sauce workshop at a local cooking school, since sauces are one of the kitchen skills we're not too knowledgeable or proficient about.

And that's it! I love how each item connects to "Story" in some way and that there are no hard and fast rules about them. It's all about living life with a little more intention and doing what feels good to me.

One Little Word 2014

Stepping out of 2013, I initially felt that the year was a waste, one to put behind me and never look back. There was loss and pain-- both physical and emotional-- for every member of my family over the past year, and for an empathetic, highly sensitive person like myself, I could only cope by sort of shutting down. Creative juice dried up, I wasn't taking care of myself holistically, and I ended up sick all too often. There was a lot of wallowing and it wasn't pretty.

What pulled me out of my funk was looking at the people around me and admiring how they were handling their challenges. Major life changes were faced with an open heart, and I loved seeing the lessons that these individuals walked away with from their experiences, spirits unbroken. It was the reminder I needed to see that it is not a perfectly outlined and executed plan that makes for a well-lived life, it's the way we express ourselves, an attitude of bravery, and the grace we show when we hit those inevitable bumps in the road. In gaining a little perspective, I was able to see the ways I'd been brave in 2013 in my own small ways and admire that I made it through. It wasn't ideal, it wasn't always fun, but it also wasn't "a waste" or a year to be swept under the rug. It was 365 days of my life, and it is a part of my story.

Which leads me to my One Little Word for 2014...

STORY. 

If I focus on the role of story in my life, I imagine I'd be more committed to focusing on what matters to me. I would not let perfectionism take hold and suffocate my fortitude and courage. I might be more vulnerable, and embrace the messy, real parts of life. I might ease up on the mental comparisons to others and judging myself against them.

Choosing "Story" as my One Little Word means embracing my story. I mean this in the internal sense, as described above, but also in the creative sense. I want to blog like I used to, I want to document more of my life through photos and Project Life, and I have some secret plans to take a story I have in my head and put it down on the page for the very first time. This will involve getting to know myself as a writer in a way I've never done before, and that's sort of scary!

I also want to discover your story, and the stories of the people around me. I want to practice listening, and invite openness. Thanks to some social anxiety, I often battle self-consciousness when I'm around new people, which can makes it hard for me to get out of my head and connect with others. While the apprehension usually fades over time, I still feel awkward asking questions despite my natural curiosity. It will take practice, and I'll probably embarrass myself on more than one occasion, but I know it would help deepen my relationships-- even with the people I know well already. The other ways I see this playing out is by committing to commenting on blogs again to foster better online connections, and possibly exploring an online project that would necessitate interviewing a variety of people. As I've mentioned in my "Heart of the Matter" posts, I'm deeply drawn to projects that celebrate our beautiful and complex humanness, and I want bring that kind of honesty and storytelling into my life.

One question that I know I'll be asking myself is, "Does this (action/pursuit/whatever) make my story better?" When I read Donald Miller's "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" last year, I was really struck by his philosophy that we are literally characters in our own story, and he encourages us to examine whether we're living the story we want to be living. I also like the idea of asking,  "What's the story here?" because it encourages me to look deeper at a situation, viewpoint, or belief to extract its true meaning and complexity.

I feel really good about choosing "Story" as my One Little Word for 2014 because it is sort of an anti-resolution resolution. It doesn't ask me to label some part of myself as lacking and in need of reform like many resolutions do; there's a backbone of self-acceptance and imperfection to the concept that will hopefully prevent me from being trapped in a perfectionistic standstill. I've also chosen four core desired feelings for the year (a la Danielle LaPorte) and I think these concepts fully support my idea of "Story"-- Grace, Intention, Creativity, and Enthusiasm/Humor.

I am excited to see how the story of 2014 unfolds.

PS- The images in the collage above came from Pinterest and Tumblr. I'll update the post with sources soon (if I can track them down).