Link Love : May

Elizabeth Gilbert: Success, Failure, and the Drive to Keep Creating via TED

How to access our inner wisdom by Susannah Conway

"If I was to sit down and try to access my ‘wisdom’ all I’d hear would be thoughts, so I have a few tricks that help me side step my overthinky brain and tap into the part of me that’s far wiser than the face I show the world. It starts with a piece of paper and a pen."

19 Late-Blooming Artists Who Prove It’s Never Too Late via Buzzfeed
Lesson: Life is not a race; it's never too late; keep your dream alive; etc...

Our Sexual Assault Problem Is Nuanced, Layered, And Not Easily Solved By A Hashtag by Jamie Varon on Thought Catalog
This piece is long, but very much worth reading, especially if you've followed the #YesAllWomen hashtag on Twitter and the events that surround it. While I don't agree with everything written, I think the perspectives and questions raised in the article bring up sides of the issue that aren't discussed very often. It was very thought-provoking for me, and my solidarity-induced anger over the stories women shared in the hashtag has shifted a bit to focus on how we can open up better, more productive, respectful dialogue. (It was also interesting to read the comments and see how the article is resonating with many men.)

This Thing Bigger Than Us: Creating Sacred Space via Autostraddle (h/t to Amy for the link)
"As kids, we naturally find places of peace and wonder. Whether you loved to lie out on the trampoline in the backyard or in the fort in your closest, you too had a special place that allowed you to take a break from the world and daydream. Adults often lose that place unless it is built into their religion or culture. Ideally, you can create a space you go to everyday even if it’s a bench in the park or a cushion tucked in a corner of your room."

The Case Against Sharing: On Access, Scarcity and Trust by Susie Cagle on Medium 
This is an interesting critique of the "sharing economy" (think: businesses like AirBnB, Uber, Lyft, etc. whose business model is based upon peer-to-peer exchanges of goods and services within a connected community). While these models create opportunity for individuals outside of traditional employment, this article brings up a lot of interesting points about the impact on industry workers, and questions who is able to participate in these communities when factoring in issues like racism and socioeconomic class.

Get cultured: resources for staying savvy by Cassie of Witty Title Here
Ever since I graduated from journalism school and no longer have weekly quizzes on current events to keep me up to date, my knowledge of what's going in the world dropped off quite a bit. I love these resources and want to make a better habit out of being an informed citizen again.

May Rewind.

While May was not overly packed with activities, it was a month where Real Life > Blogging About Life. The special moments showed up in quiet ways, like an evening on the couch with a cold raspberry beer, drops of condensation freckling the pages of the book in my lap, the living room glowing with radiant sunset light the color of tangerine flesh. In their broadest brushstrokes, these kinds of nights look like a carbon copy of a hundred other nights if you aren't paying attention. But when you do shift your eyes upward and carry your attention away from the the endless thoughts monkeying around in your head, you recognize a kind of sweetness in the weathered edges, the subtle details, the familiarity of routines. And I am living inside these moments, awake and open, even if that leaves little opportunity-- or more accurately, desire-- to turn them into blogable stories at this present time.

May in Photos

5 Things that Happened in May

1. Mark left for Israel last week (he toured Jerusalem today-- I'm a wee bit jealous).
2. I booked a going-away dinner for him at Table Fifty-Two, the southern food restaurant of Oprah's long-time personal chef, Art Smith. At one point I got teary telling Mark how I was going to miss him, and I realized I had spent so long mentally preparing for us to be apart for four months that it never sunk in that he'd only be gone for ten days. I knew his revised schedule, of course, but my emotions had never caught up, and my tears were sort of silly and unnecessary. It was a strange feeling of my mind and emotional response being totally out of sync.
3. The Oak Park Farmers Market returned, so now I can stop bitching about how pale and lame all the eggs are from the grocery store, at least for a few months.
4. I signed us up for a CSA share for the summer again. We tend to debate every year whether it's worth it (it is a lot of work to figure out how to use everything, and we do always waste some produce), but we always end up going for it. Truth be told, it's one of the very few things I actually enjoy about summer, so that's reason enough for me to continue. I hope to get some of the recipes we use up on the blog over the next few months.
5. Fun things: A mother's day/birthday gathering at my grandma's house, reading books in the park, more than one evening walk to go get ice cream, seeing the musical Motown at the Oriental Theatre (SO fun), and taking a gorgeous sunset walk along the lakefront.

Read in May

The Goldfinch by Donna Tarte: I'M FINALLY DONE. It took a lot of time and effort, but the writing was really beautiful. I do not think everyone will enjoy the pace and plot of this book, but if you are a "literary" type of book lover, I recommend it wholeheartedly. It took me a good long while after I finished to find another book where the words were as thoughtful as Tarte's; everything else paled in comparison. (I ended up going with The History of Love by Nicole Krauss, which I am half way through now.) 

Most Good, Least Harm by Zoe Weil: The book outlines the ways we can living in a manner that causes the most good with the least harm to create positive change in the world. I felt my values reflected in the ideas, but the book mainly serves to promote her "MOGO" philosophy over and over again, which felt gimmicky, repetitive, and lacked a personal touch. I ended up skimming most of it, and I would rather read personal memoirs or in-depth interviews than a "coach-y" type of book like this.

Favorite Song from May

(I couldn't pick one song this month, so I'm including Kelsey's playlist because I've listened to it a dozen times this month.)

What I'm Looking Forward to in June

In a nutshell, June = Summer, and Summer = Humid Awful Sweaty Horribleness, so the only redeeming things might be: 1) Copious amounts of iced tea, 2) the aforementioned CSA, and 3) So You Think You Can Dance being back on TV. 

(That said, this past winter in Chicago was so bad I'm pretty sure I'm not allowed to complain about this summer one iota. At least from here on out.)

ETA: Our good friends are also getting married in June, I forgot! Celebrating love is certainly something to look forward to, even if I'm guaranteed to be sporting a sweaty sheen healthy glow in my formal attire.

Going Natural : Favorite Makeup Finds

I'm about four months into my effort to go natural with my makeup and skincare and I've found a number of products that are working nicely for me. Early on, I got sucked into this whole “Going Natural" project and was researching and ordering and trying new products left and right, but— as I shared in this post— the appeal wore off. I've reverted back to my old habits, which is to find a handful of (natural) products that I can rely on, perhaps only making a few color changes by season. Many days I've been going without makeup all together; I think a good skin-care regimen and a healthy diet have done a lot for making me comfortable in my skin, au naturale.

There is a whole fun world of natural makeup out there, but I can safely say this will likely be my last “Going Natural" post. Maybe I'll share my updated makeup favorites in the fall when I move away from coral/pinks to berry/plum shades but we shall see. I have too many other interests that are more worthy of my time, attention, and money; my face is so not my hobby :) I understand why people find makeup fun, but for me it's just not the way I prefer to take care of myself or treat myself, and a constant desire for new products generally goes against my simple and minimalist approach to life. I'm okay being your plain-faced friend with the messy hair and unpolished nails, who is always wearing those dirty old trail shoes and is far more comfortable in a bookstore or hiking in the woods than in Sephora (though I can't be the only one who is completely terrified/intimidated by Sephora, right?).

Before I dive into the products I've been turning to, I'd like to add a caveat that many natural beauty enthusiasts don't really consider Tarte to be a real natural brand. Tarte still uses a fair amount of toxins in their products that are rated as cautionary on EWG's Cosmetic Database. However, I've decided that I'm comfortable using their products, especially since I don't wear makeup everyday. It's nice to have the option of popping into Ulta to see Tarte products in person. Most natural makeup has to be ordered online since it isn't available in stores, and ordering sight-unseen doesn't always work out that well. For me, Tarte is a nice compromise between conventional/drugstore makeup and the natural products only available online. (FYI: if you sign up for emails from Tarte, you can get 20% off your first order from their website.)

Natural products I'm loving (clockwise from top left)
* Tarte blush in Blissful: A nice matte coral-peachy blush. I love the color and it seems to look nice on my skin. However... Tarte blushes are known for being pigmented and long-lasting, and yet I still have a very hard time transferring the color onto my cheeks. I've tried a variety of brushes and nothing makes a difference. Even when I try and swatch the color on my arm with my finger, hardly any color transfers from my finger to my forearm. I don't get it. I have had this problem with some other pressed blushes too though— maybe it's my skin type?
* Physician's Formula Organic Wear CC Cream: This has been my go-to foundation. I find that the coverage is very good with a nice dewy finish. It's easy to blend and builds up nicely if needed.
* RMS Beauty Lip Shine in Sublime: This is a bright cool-toned pink potted lip gloss that borders on acid pink in the pot but applies like a sheer bubblegum that can be built up. I love the clean ingredients and how smooth it feels on my lips. This is my only RMS product so far, and I will be getting more.
* Zuzu Luxe Liquid Eyeliner: This came up in the green beauty world over and over again as the best natural liquid liner. It does the job quite well for me, and I like it much better than the Maybelline liquid liner I used to use. I bought mine on Amazon.
* Silk Naturals blush in Poppy (sample): This is a loose mineral powder blush, and the matte coral color is slightly more orange than the Tarte Blissful. As I mentioned above, I seem to have issues with pressed blush, but this loose powder is very pigmented and I've really enjoyed the sample. Unfortunately, aside from this product and the Jane lipstick, I didn't love anything else I tried from Silk Naturals. On the plus side, all of their products are fairly cheap--but so is their packaging :(
* Vapour Organics Illusionist Concealer (recommended with reservations): I find this concealer stick to be similar to the Maybelline Dream Lumi Touch concealer I had been using before. This is a cream stick rather than a liquid, but the luminescent effect is very similar. I found the coverage to be good for the under-eye area, and it has a nice light herbal smell. My reservation for this product is that the packaging completely fell apart the second time I used it— the glue holding down the inner tube seems to have melted or dissolved. I do tend to blame this on the online shop I bought it from (who shall remain nameless) rather than Vapour Organics, as that order was a disaster. My Pai Rosehip Oil leaked during shipping, and while I don't think it leaked on the other products, there is a small chance that some of the oil could have caused the glue to come unstuck. But the product itself I recommend.
* Tarte Lipsurgence Skintuitive Lip Tint in Energy (deluxe sample): I have a hard time considering this a true natural makeup product, given that it is one of those lip products that adjusts to your body pH and transforms into your perfect pink lip shade. Something about that just seems like sorcery. But I absolutely love it anyways, and I'll probably put the full size on my wishlist when the sample is gone. The shade it becomes on my lips is really nice, a sheer berry.
* Honeybee Gardens Pressed Mineral Powder Foundation: This is another favorite product in the green beauty world, and an affordable one at that (especially if you buy it without the compact from Vitacost). I use this on occasion to set my liquid foundation. I have also used it on its own as a mineral foundation, but I have to be very moisturized first since I have dry skin and I want to avoid looking cakey. 


Everything else I've tried, with some mini-reviews
* Physician's Formula Organic Wear Mascara: This is an okay mascara, but sometimes flakes and I don't like how my eyelashes feel tacky the entire time I'm wearing it.
* Silk Naturals loose mineral eyeshadow (various shades): Overall, these were a total let-down. I found them messy and lacking pigmentation. The shadows containing glitter were very chunky. I might try to turn them into pressed eyeshadow using a Youtube tutorial, but that seems like a lot of work.
* Silk Naturals Stick Em Eyeshadow Enhancer: I don't notice a difference whether I wear this or not. It's quite possible I just don't know how to apply loose eyeshadow properly.
* Silk Naturals Slick Stick in Mirage: I was searching for a nude lipcolor, but this one is a little too “bruise colored" on me. I think I wanted Cultured but ordered the wrong one :(
* Tarte Cheek Stain in Flush: Smells delicious, adds a very natural flush to the cheeks. Some people complain about blending these gel blushes, but I haven't had trouble. A little goes a long way. Very expensive for the size of the product, though.
* Ilia Tinted Lip Conditioner in Arabian Nights: I love this deep berry shade, but it's more of a winter color. I expected the Lip Conditioner formula to be balmier to apply, but it's kind of stiff.
* 100% Pure Fruit Pigmented Foundation: I like the texture and application, but I bought a shade too dark and the site I ordered from (the unnamed online shop mentioned above) doesn't offer exchanges (note: if you order from the 100% Pure website, they offer free exchanges). I'll be saving this for mid-summer and hopefully will be tan enough for it.
* Tarte Bow-to-Go holiday set containing 4 Lipsurgence, 1 eyeshadow palette, Lights Camera Lashes mascara, and two Smolder Eyes: I got this set on clearance on Tarte's site for just over $35— SUCH a steal! I like the palette, but haven't had the chance to use the rest of the products yet.

A few things I'm still interested in
* RMS Living Luminizer
* Dr. Hauschka mascara
* A cream bronze eyeshadow similar to my go-to Maybelline Color Tattoo in Bad to the Bronze, maybe something from 100% Pure or RMS Beauty? Lots of reviews mention creasing for these though, so I might just stick with the Maybelline as it is such a favorite of mine.
* A natural pencil eyeliner
* A natural sunscreen for the days I want to go without foundation (which has SPF in it)

DRINK // Rosemary Vodka Lemonade

I have some sort of brain disorder that makes me incapable of remembering what I already have at home when I'm out grocery shopping. Even though I always write up a grocery list. For some reason, without fail, I find myself in the canned foods aisle thinking, "We need more chickpeas, right?" Then I come home and discover that I could make a metric ton of hummus with the chickpeas already in my cupboard.

For the past three weeks, I have convinced myself that we are out of lemons (spoiler alert: we're not). So each time I'm at Trader Joes, I buy a new bag. Not just one lemon. A bag.

And when life gives you lemons, and a severe memory problem? Make Rosemary Vodka Lemonade.

Rosemary Simple Syrup
1 1/2 cups water
1 cup sugar
2 sprigs rosemary

Mix water and sugar in a pot. Heat and stir until the sugar dissolves completely. Turn off heat. Add 2 sprigs of rosemary and cool completely. Remove and discard rosemary sprigs.

Rosemary Vodka Lemonade
Rosemary simple syrup, cooled
1 cup fresh-squeezed lemon juice (approximately 5-8 lemons depending on size)
4-4 1/2 cups cold water (or chilled sparkling water)
1-2 oz. vodka
Rosemary, for garnish

Mix rosemary simple syrup with water and lemon juice in a pitcher. Pour vodka into a glass with ice, and top with rosemary lemonade. Garnish with a rosemary sprig.

Coffee Chat // May 2, 2014

1. Thank you so much to everyone who commented on my last Five Thoughts post, particularly in response to my questions about raising kids near family. I really appreciate the feedback and new perspectives. What was really interesting for me was observing my own reaction to the responses and better sussing out the reasoning behind my feelings. One recurring theme was how nothing compares to the community that family offers-- that is completely true for many, but it occurred to me that that has not been my own experience. Without getting too personal and sharing stories that are not solely mine to tell, I will say that Mark and I both come from divorced parents, and the words I associate with my family are more along the lines of "disparate," "tense," and "spending hours in the car each week shuffling between houses." I've made my peace with what happened, but I know I want my potential/future/hypothetical children to have a very different childhood than the one I had, so-- for better or worse-- there is a desire to separate myself from the place and feelings of my past. It's not the first time I've felt this way-- I ended up out-of-state for college, and it was an amazing experience. Among many other reasons (like lifestyle and access to nature), experiencing a new state holds a promising appeal of creating our own community and focusing on my little immediate family. Again, that's not necessarily the right rationale, but it's something that has come into light after asking for all of your opinions, and I'll continue to work through my thoughts. (Side note: I can't paint my family experience as entirely bad; I have a fine relationship with my mom, and I was close to my grandparents growing up, especially after living with them for two years.) Most likely, we will still pursue a move out West, because it is something we both really want at this time in our lives, and if children enter the picture in the future, we will adapt and grow as needed.

2. Remember when I told you about Israel last week? LOL, just kidding about that! Of course as soon as I share the news-- even waiting until Mark's company had booked the plane tickets-- the plans radically change. First the company reduced his stay from four months down to six weeks, and then down to only one or two weeks. So it's now basically just a business trip, meaning no Israel visit for me (boo), no international trip for us (double boo), and no point in me sharing this information on my blog in the first place (oh, well). At least we don't have to be apart for 4 months anymore!

3. I am so stupidly and unreasonably excited about trying the Oprah Chai at Starbucks. Oprah! Chai! Starbucks! I love all of those things! Plus, a portion of every sale goes towards one of the youth education charities Oprah supports.

4. This week, I settled on my first tattoo, decided I really should pierce my nose, and bought tools to cut my own hair. Is this trifecta a sign of major internal changes, or a desperate cry for help? Time will tell!

5. I had the chance to help out a neighbor and walk her dog (a CORGI!) a few days this week, and it has made me far happier than what is probably normal-- like, I experienced that heart-full-of-joy, almost-want-to-cry, my-chest-is-going-to-burst feeling whenever I was around her. It made me want a dog SO BAD. There are some high-strung, loud, jumpy dogs in my family, and whenever I'm around them it basically kills my desire for a dog, but anytime I'm around some chilled-out sweet pups like this one, my dog fever comes back with intensity. But, we hope to have a house with a yard before we get a dog, and we're dealing with a sick cat at the moment, so the time isn't quite right yet.