Coffee Chat // May 2, 2014

1. Thank you so much to everyone who commented on my last Five Thoughts post, particularly in response to my questions about raising kids near family. I really appreciate the feedback and new perspectives. What was really interesting for me was observing my own reaction to the responses and better sussing out the reasoning behind my feelings. One recurring theme was how nothing compares to the community that family offers-- that is completely true for many, but it occurred to me that that has not been my own experience. Without getting too personal and sharing stories that are not solely mine to tell, I will say that Mark and I both come from divorced parents, and the words I associate with my family are more along the lines of "disparate," "tense," and "spending hours in the car each week shuffling between houses." I've made my peace with what happened, but I know I want my potential/future/hypothetical children to have a very different childhood than the one I had, so-- for better or worse-- there is a desire to separate myself from the place and feelings of my past. It's not the first time I've felt this way-- I ended up out-of-state for college, and it was an amazing experience. Among many other reasons (like lifestyle and access to nature), experiencing a new state holds a promising appeal of creating our own community and focusing on my little immediate family. Again, that's not necessarily the right rationale, but it's something that has come into light after asking for all of your opinions, and I'll continue to work through my thoughts. (Side note: I can't paint my family experience as entirely bad; I have a fine relationship with my mom, and I was close to my grandparents growing up, especially after living with them for two years.) Most likely, we will still pursue a move out West, because it is something we both really want at this time in our lives, and if children enter the picture in the future, we will adapt and grow as needed.

2. Remember when I told you about Israel last week? LOL, just kidding about that! Of course as soon as I share the news-- even waiting until Mark's company had booked the plane tickets-- the plans radically change. First the company reduced his stay from four months down to six weeks, and then down to only one or two weeks. So it's now basically just a business trip, meaning no Israel visit for me (boo), no international trip for us (double boo), and no point in me sharing this information on my blog in the first place (oh, well). At least we don't have to be apart for 4 months anymore!

3. I am so stupidly and unreasonably excited about trying the Oprah Chai at Starbucks. Oprah! Chai! Starbucks! I love all of those things! Plus, a portion of every sale goes towards one of the youth education charities Oprah supports.

4. This week, I settled on my first tattoo, decided I really should pierce my nose, and bought tools to cut my own hair. Is this trifecta a sign of major internal changes, or a desperate cry for help? Time will tell!

5. I had the chance to help out a neighbor and walk her dog (a CORGI!) a few days this week, and it has made me far happier than what is probably normal-- like, I experienced that heart-full-of-joy, almost-want-to-cry, my-chest-is-going-to-burst feeling whenever I was around her. It made me want a dog SO BAD. There are some high-strung, loud, jumpy dogs in my family, and whenever I'm around them it basically kills my desire for a dog, but anytime I'm around some chilled-out sweet pups like this one, my dog fever comes back with intensity. But, we hope to have a house with a yard before we get a dog, and we're dealing with a sick cat at the moment, so the time isn't quite right yet.