There's a chill in the air today that is whispering a sincere promise of autumn. I'm sure we'll still have our fair share of sweaty late summer days over the next few weeks, but we've reached the point in the year where I can't help but be excited about what's ahead. I can become such a cliche when I rhapsodize about fall, especially in the blog world, but I just feel so much more like myself when the air cools and I am donning cardigans and drinking tea.
Every August and September, I feel a particular kind of longing and nostalgia for classrooms, new books, syllabi, late nights spent pounding the keyboard, libraries, and an increasing consumption of caffeinated beverages. I am almost seven years out of school, and yet I still can't shake the desire to be in pursuit of more knowledge-- feelings that have only been cemented by a serious lack of challenging post-grad jobs. While I will forever be a life-long learner and a student of life, the structure and context of academic environments always gave my learning more purpose than my current free-form self education, where I follow the whims of whatever is my obsession of the week.
Maybe this desire to be learning and challenging myself with a project (or a few) is why I find myself here again, blogging. Blogging is nowhere near the same as homework and essays assigned by a tweed clad professor, but I am craving an outlet and a consistent way for me to delve into my hobbies, passions and even those fleeting interests. Until I feel that my motives for returning to higher education are more than just romanticized notions, I can use this blog-- and the internet as a whole-- as an outlet and a resource for my DIY continuing education.
I declared myself on summer break from my previous blog in May (though to be honest, I had been slowing down for several months before that), and I think I did myself more harm than good in stepping back from a writing practice and my creative projects. I thought a break would give me a chance to clarify my thoughts. Reflecting back on my decision to press the pause button, I'm reminded of all the difficult situations and emotions I've experienced this year-- loss, illness, death, grief, and estrangement, among others-- which were so awful at the time. I had hoped to deal with those feelings on my own so that I could return to writing with a neat and tidy life lesson. I saw writing not as a way to process, but as something you do in reflection once you've figured things out. Not only was this a faulty belief, but it was also unfortunate; with the absence of writing I still haven't quite worked my way through the sucky feelings, some of which were caused by events that occurred more than nine months ago.
My break from writing and blogging affected every other area of my creative life as well, as I didn't have a reason to be accountable to my photography or design work because I wasn't going to be sharing it anywhere. As big of a distraction social media can be, it is undoubtedly a way to let yourself be publicly accountable to what you say you're going to do and what you say is important to you. When I stopped blogging, I stopped being responsible for my creative projects. Inertia most certainly applies to creativity.
The blank page and I are strangers now, and I'm not quite sure how to relax around it yet. I want to let the words pour out, but writing and I are still getting reacquainted in all our awkward glory, where I say the wrong thing or my words come out in a messy jumble. And, ugh, the awkward pauses where we sit and stare at each other for minutes or hours at a time! I wish I could speed up the process, but I know that the only action I'm able to do is sit down and try again tomorrow.
That is the plan. My main goal for this blog is to keep up with the habit of writing. Through that, I hope to explore, celebrate, or learn more about a number of topics, including creativity, creative communities, books, reading, cooking, food politics, personal development, photography, nature, travel, and of course the occasional fluffy post of favorite things I love. It will remain first-and-foremost a personal journal; I have no intention of getting life coach-y on you or trying to sell you a lifestyle, as so many bloggers seem to be doing these days. I have been thinking about starting a book vlog for probably 4 months now, and I'd like to make that happen soon, if for no other reason than to show off my
giant rainbow bookcase (and learn not to be self-conscious about my face/voice on camera, as I currently am. And learn how to edit videos better).
Some of you who followed me over here from my previous blog might wonder why I decided I needed a whole new blog and web address. I don't have a great answer for that other than I really wanted to cut the ties to my former blog name for personal reasons and to regain a little bit of anonymity in a sometimes too connected world.
And what does the name Roots, Wings & Wanderings mean? It's nothing too deep or personal; I simply find myself to be a person who is defined by dualities and contradictions. I am a homebody, a classic introvert, and am often rooted in practicality and common sense. At the same time, my head is often in the clouds, I love nothing more than taking off on new journeys or explore new ideas, and I'm always full of hope for the future. The blog name, and the writing I'll do here, will often examine my contrasting thoughts and experiences.
If you are one of those readers who is joining me for the ride here,
thank you. I am grateful to have connected with so many amazing people so far through blogging, and I hope that continues.
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