1. What did you do in 2015 that you’d never done before?
○ The biggest thing is that we moved out of Illinois and became residents of Oregon. Even though I went to college in Missouri, I've never been a resident of any other state but Illinois until now. We've never relocated for a job before this year either (aside from Ireland, but that was a temporary assignment).
○ We sold our condo, and it was our first times selling real estate. It was a stressful process, to say the least.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
7. What dates from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
○ Mid-May: Mark got a job offer in Portland, OR
9. What was your biggest failure?
For once, I don't feel like I outright failed at anything. I'm granting myself a certain amount of grace in realizing that it's been a big year of change for us, and that life will be a bit unsettled for a while. Of course there are things I wish I'd done more of, like reading and exercising and making friends and putting out more videos and writing more, but we had more balls to juggle this year—and I don't feel like I flat-out dropped any of them.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Only the same ongoing issues as the past few years: sciatica through my left hip/leg, some pain in my left knee, and a constant knot in (you guessed it) my left shoulder. Aside from that, I had a 2.5 week-long cold/flu in the spring, and Mark and I both had AWFUL food poisoning from some tainted Thai fish sauce that just about killed us.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Footwear, haha! I got a pair of ankle-support hiking boots for all of our outdoor excursion in the Pacific Northwest, and I also got a pair of duck boots that have already proven to be quite practical for Portland's rainy fall and winter. Aside from that, we also rented a parking space in the garage under our apartment once our condo sold, and I LOVE IT. I've never had to pay for parking before so it seems like an absurd cost to pay monthly, but it is SO convenient to have a reserved space in a garage rather than fighting for limited street parking as we did for our first few months here. And it's the first time our Prius Dory has been able to be parked inside, and it finally feels like we're giving her the good life she deserves ;)
12. Where did most of your money go?
To the "selling" of our condo, to be honest. We paid the bank a few thousand dollars in order to sell (explained in this blog post) but we were more relieved to have the sale go through than upset about the money spent, and we had plenty of savings to cover it. According to the bank, there's a chance some of that money will come back to us for some reason I don't quite understand, so my fingers are crossed for that. We also spent a lot on the actual move, but we had a generous moving allowance from Mark's new company and they reimbursed us for almost all of it.
13. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
When Mark got we got the news that we were moving to Portland. At first I was mostly incredulous. But then I cried because I couldn't believe that it was actually happening, and then I cried about having to leave, and then when we arrived in Portland, and then when we sold our condo... It was an emotional few months.
14. What songs will always remind you of 2015?
15. Did you make any new friendships?
16. Did you go on vacation?
17. What do you wish you had done more and less of?
○ More: Reading, exercising, friend-making, video-making, and writing, as I've already mentioned. Also, more compassion, vulnerability, and expressions of love for the people I care about.
○ Less: Worrying, multi-tasking, wasting time online. Also, less comparing, judging, and negative self-talk.
18. How did you spend the holidays?
We headed to Illinois/Wisconsin for the holidays for six days, and had lots of family and friends to squeeze into that time. We just got home, and I'm probably going to need a solid week of Introvert Time to recover! As for Thanksgiving, this was our first Thanksgiving alone with just Mark and myself, and since we don't love traditional food, we decided to tackle a challenging recipe: homemade pork tamales with mole sauce. It was fun, but I admit it felt really quiet, and I had a bit of FOMO knowing our various families were gathering together without us there. Next year we're planning on traveling to Arizona to spend Thanksgiving with Mark's older sister and our two nephews, since we almost NEVER see the Southwest side of his family.
19. What new food did you discover?
I don't think there were any entirely new discoveries, but we did start and maintain a Sunday Dutch baby pancake tradition. We probably only missed a few weeks out of the entire year, and over time we've experimented with several varieties, such as lemon-blueberry, baked cinnamon apple, gingerbread spice, and even Mexican chocolate (not my fave). This is the base recipe we use, except we just hand mix it instead of putting it in the blender.
24. What was your favorite film of this year?
Mark forced me to watch Whiplash, and I ended up loving it. I expected it to be far too intense for my anxiety-prone nature, but the story was great. I only saw a few movies released in 2015, and my favorites were probably Inside Out and The Martian.
25. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
26. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?
27. What kept you sane?
My planner, lolz. But seriously. I've never had much success with planners in the past, but my Inkwell Press Planner was my BFF this year, particularly when I was planning the move, downsizing/selling our stuff, preparing to sell the condo, saying goodbyes, and making the road-trip out West. I would not have been able to do it without my planner; I lived by that thing this year.
28. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
This question made me realize that I have not payed any attention to celebrities this year... like, I still haven't even heard "Hotline Bling," and what's the big deal about Drake anyways? Pretty much all of my entertainment comes from books, podcasts, or YouTube nowadays. So if I use those as my selection pool, my favorite people are Ann and Aminatou from Call Your Girlfriend, and the brilliant and articulate YouTuber Rosianna Halse Rojas.
29. What political issue stirred you the most?
So much is weighing on me. It been a heavy year, hasn't it? Especially lately. The epidemic of mass shootings and politicians complete inability to take preventative action because of the NRA is disappointing and troubling. I hadn't realized that even the CDC was banned from researching gun deaths as a public health issue due to legislation pushed through by NRA-backed Republicans. Chicago currently has the nation's attention as investigations are launched into the shooting of yet another black man by police, and why the police department tried to cover up the shooting. Even my dear alma mater Mizzou was at the center of the news for a while, and I was torn between feeling proud for the college students and athletes fighting injustice, and feeling saddened by the dismissive way the protests were being covered in the media. I also wrestled with my former oblivion to racial tension on campus that came from my own privilege, having had an entirely different college experience than students of color. And then there were the terrorist attacks in Paris and Beirut, and in Southern California. As tragic as these attacks are, I am embarrassed and heart-broken by how many people are reactionary and close-minded towards the refugee crisis, and the pure Islamophobia that mainstream front-running candidates (UGH) are incorporating into their actual political platforms. What kind of history are we writing here?
I know I'm bringing up a bunch of issues upon which opinions often vary and tensions often rise, but I can basically sum up my own thoughts by saying I refuse to let fear be a motivating factor in my life. Fear of others is the locus of so much of the world's pain, and we'd be so much better off if we open our eyes, hearts, ears, hands to one another. "Frankly, there isn't anyone you couldn't love, once you've heard their story." - Mary Lou Kownacki
30. Who did you miss?
My family, now that we're 2,000+ miles apart. I didn't see them all that frequently when we lived nearby, so homesickness really hasn't been an issue for me, but Thanksgiving was a bit lonely and I'm very glad we got to visit over Christmas. I also went through a period of mourning how easily friends fade into acquaintances fade into strangers. It's hard to let go of the idea of these people and their friendship when you're a naturally nostalgic person, but it is a necessary process in order to move onward, especially since I want to focus on making new, local friends in Portland.
33. Share a quote or song lyric that sums up your year.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
As with the past several years, I picked guiding words for the year, and 2015 was "awake, rooted, unapologetic." I think they were good words, but the results and influences of them on my life are probably fairly subtle at this point in time. Especially lately, I feel more in tune with needs and desires, even if I still recognize the areas I need to work on. I would say the awareness inspired by words like "awake" and "rooted" helped guide me this year, but I could still work on being more comfortable (="unapologetic") about being myself. There's an internal level of self-acceptance that falls a little bit short when it comes to projecting myself outward in social settings (thanks, social anxiety). As for next year, I'll be picking a new word for 2016 and I'll post about it soon.
6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?
The first thing that comes to mind is enthusiasm. I'm not a naturally expressive person in an outward sense (at least on the happy end of the spectrum - ha!), and I've noticed that I don't often give myself the chance to feel excited about the things I'm doing nor proud of the things I've done. It relates a bit to the people-pleasing I brought up in the previous question—I can get far too caught up in how me or my work is being perceived by others, or I get overly concerned with others' comfort and wellbeing, both of which take me out of my own experience. And that is such a draining way to live, and I can see how harmful it is to the process of creativity. This has been a lightbulb type of revelation from the past year, and enthusiasm is something that I honestly look forward to creating a better relationship with. I want to embrace that John Green/Nerdfighter mentality: "Nerds like us are allowed to be unironically enthusiastic about stuff. Nerds are allowed to love stuff, like jump-up-and-down-in-the-chair-can't-control-yourself love it. When people call people nerds, mostly what they're saying is 'you like stuff.' Which is just not a good insult at all. Like, 'you are too enthusiastic about the miracle of human consciousness.'"
7. What dates from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
○ Mid-May: Mark got a job offer in Portland, OR
○ All of June: Packing, cleaning, dealing with our realtor, saying goodbye to friends
○ July 2: We left our condo for the last time and began our journey West, starting with a stop to see family in Wisconsin
○ July 6: Our official cross-country road trip began
○ July 10: We arrived at our new home in Portland
○ October 11: We flew back to the Midwest because Mark's sister got married!
○ October 29: Our condo sold!!
○ December holidays: We flew back to Illinois for a whirlwind 6 days of visiting family and celebrating 4 separate Christmases
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
○ October 29: Our condo sold!!
○ December holidays: We flew back to Illinois for a whirlwind 6 days of visiting family and celebrating 4 separate Christmases
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Moving, and everything it entailed. I'm proud of Mark for seeking a better job situation and that it just happened to be in a place we've dreamed of moving for close to ten years. I'm proud of myself for managing the minimizing/downsizing and doing pretty much all the packing. I'm grateful that moved with hardly an issue along the way—not even one single broken item (eta: correction, we had two broken ornaments when we went to put out Christmas decor recently. I think I can live with that!). I was hella thrilled when our condo officially sold after a few months on the market (no more rent + mortgage!). And I'm happy with our new environment, and the ways in which it is a growth opportunity for us both.
9. What was your biggest failure?
For once, I don't feel like I outright failed at anything. I'm granting myself a certain amount of grace in realizing that it's been a big year of change for us, and that life will be a bit unsettled for a while. Of course there are things I wish I'd done more of, like reading and exercising and making friends and putting out more videos and writing more, but we had more balls to juggle this year—and I don't feel like I flat-out dropped any of them.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Only the same ongoing issues as the past few years: sciatica through my left hip/leg, some pain in my left knee, and a constant knot in (you guessed it) my left shoulder. Aside from that, I had a 2.5 week-long cold/flu in the spring, and Mark and I both had AWFUL food poisoning from some tainted Thai fish sauce that just about killed us.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Footwear, haha! I got a pair of ankle-support hiking boots for all of our outdoor excursion in the Pacific Northwest, and I also got a pair of duck boots that have already proven to be quite practical for Portland's rainy fall and winter. Aside from that, we also rented a parking space in the garage under our apartment once our condo sold, and I LOVE IT. I've never had to pay for parking before so it seems like an absurd cost to pay monthly, but it is SO convenient to have a reserved space in a garage rather than fighting for limited street parking as we did for our first few months here. And it's the first time our Prius Dory has been able to be parked inside, and it finally feels like we're giving her the good life she deserves ;)
12. Where did most of your money go?
To the "selling" of our condo, to be honest. We paid the bank a few thousand dollars in order to sell (explained in this blog post) but we were more relieved to have the sale go through than upset about the money spent, and we had plenty of savings to cover it. According to the bank, there's a chance some of that money will come back to us for some reason I don't quite understand, so my fingers are crossed for that. We also spent a lot on the actual move, but we had a generous moving allowance from Mark's new company and they reimbursed us for almost all of it.
13. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
When Mark got we got the news that we were moving to Portland. At first I was mostly incredulous. But then I cried because I couldn't believe that it was actually happening, and then I cried about having to leave, and then when we arrived in Portland, and then when we sold our condo... It was an emotional few months.
14. What songs will always remind you of 2015?
Since I've clearly established "moving" as a major theme for 2015, this remix of Home by Edward Sharpe will forever make me think of everything that's happened this year, and I even included it in our moving vlog. I've also listened to Adele's 25 enough that it'll probably always remind me of this year.
15. Did you make any new friendships?
Not locally, unfortunately. The first few months here have really been about getting settled, and while I have attended some Meetup.com groups, no one I'd really consider a friend has emerged yet. Womp, womp. Making friends as an adult is freakin' hard! But I did have the chance to get together with Jenni King, a booktube friend of mine, while she was in town on her honeymoon, and that was fantastic. But she sadly does not live nearby. I also reconnected with a college acquaintance right before I left Illinois, which was the worst case of bad timing because we lived in the same town for so long without getting together, and we probably could have been good friends.
16. Did you go on vacation?
If you count a cross-country move/road trip, then yes. We did stop at the lake house in northern Wisconsin and Yellowstone along the way, which was beautiful. We also went back to Chicago and drove to Michigan for Mark's sister's wedding this fall. Both of those felt like mini-vacations. And honestly, Oregon is so new to us and has so much to do that many of our weekends feel like vacations too.
17. What do you wish you had done more and less of?
○ More: Reading, exercising, friend-making, video-making, and writing, as I've already mentioned. Also, more compassion, vulnerability, and expressions of love for the people I care about.
○ Less: Worrying, multi-tasking, wasting time online. Also, less comparing, judging, and negative self-talk.
18. How did you spend the holidays?
We headed to Illinois/Wisconsin for the holidays for six days, and had lots of family and friends to squeeze into that time. We just got home, and I'm probably going to need a solid week of Introvert Time to recover! As for Thanksgiving, this was our first Thanksgiving alone with just Mark and myself, and since we don't love traditional food, we decided to tackle a challenging recipe: homemade pork tamales with mole sauce. It was fun, but I admit it felt really quiet, and I had a bit of FOMO knowing our various families were gathering together without us there. Next year we're planning on traveling to Arizona to spend Thanksgiving with Mark's older sister and our two nephews, since we almost NEVER see the Southwest side of his family.
19. What new food did you discover?
I don't think there were any entirely new discoveries, but we did start and maintain a Sunday Dutch baby pancake tradition. We probably only missed a few weeks out of the entire year, and over time we've experimented with several varieties, such as lemon-blueberry, baked cinnamon apple, gingerbread spice, and even Mexican chocolate (not my fave). This is the base recipe we use, except we just hand mix it instead of putting it in the blender.
In Portland, we've loved exploring tons of new restaurants and food carts and coffeeshops. My favorite meal so far in Portland is a tie between a 9-course tapas tasting menu at Toro Bravo for our anniversary and a super simple yet delicious chicken and rice dish from the Thai food cart Nong's Khao Man Gai.
And as for home cooked meals, we still made a variation of this salad almost weekly (but we go with grilled chicken, grapes, feta, pearl couscous, onion, and almonds with a homemade balsamic vinagrette), and one of my favorite new recipe was this pumpkin coconut curry.
20. What was your favorite TV program?
We ditched cable for good when we moved, so I've given up almost entirely on TV shows. We did buy a cheap digital antenna for broadcast TV, and so far the only thing we're watching regularly is Jeopardy! and I love it. I used to make fun of my parents for saying they did crossword puzzles to exercise their brains, but that's exactly what Jeopardy feels like now. I'm ok with being a big fat nerd—though I'm really only good at pop culture, books, and cooking/food-related categories :)
21. What was one of your favorite experiences of the year?
22. What was the best book you read?
23. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Spotify Discover—does that count? I'd say it has about a 70% accuracy rate for me. Other than that, new-to-me bands for this year include Father John Misty, Mighty Oaks, Ryn Weaver, Grimes, Zella Day, and Elle King.
And as for home cooked meals, we still made a variation of this salad almost weekly (but we go with grilled chicken, grapes, feta, pearl couscous, onion, and almonds with a homemade balsamic vinagrette), and one of my favorite new recipe was this pumpkin coconut curry.
20. What was your favorite TV program?
We ditched cable for good when we moved, so I've given up almost entirely on TV shows. We did buy a cheap digital antenna for broadcast TV, and so far the only thing we're watching regularly is Jeopardy! and I love it. I used to make fun of my parents for saying they did crossword puzzles to exercise their brains, but that's exactly what Jeopardy feels like now. I'm ok with being a big fat nerd—though I'm really only good at pop culture, books, and cooking/food-related categories :)
21. What was one of your favorite experiences of the year?
In general, it's been great to explore a new city, especially one with great outdoor opportunities and great food. We haven't even started branching out beyond the Portland and Mt. Hood areas—we have Crater Lake, Bend, Seattle, and the Oregon coast on our must-do list for next year.
What did you want and get?
Mark got a new job that moved us to Portland, have I mentioned that? :) After thinking about moving west for so long, it feels like a dream coming true. We've been very lucky in our life that most of the things we set out to achieve, we have. Some other things I had on my vision board included spending time outdoors, journaling, embracing solitude, visiting the lake house, take adventures, minimize my belongings and life, read good books, stand up for what I believe in, make things—and I achieved all of those in part, if not in full. *Fist bump.*
What did you want and not get?
Based on my vision board, we didn't get to Utah's national parks, get a cat, nor grow our family. Some of these will be re-appearing on my 2016 vision board.
22. What was the best book you read?
I hate that I read Everything I Never Told You and A Little Life in the same year, because they're both amazing and sad and heart-breaking. I'm actually not going to tell you which one is my favorite because I'm going to film a specific video about my favorite books of the year. Just building the suspense :)
23. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Spotify Discover—does that count? I'd say it has about a 70% accuracy rate for me. Other than that, new-to-me bands for this year include Father John Misty, Mighty Oaks, Ryn Weaver, Grimes, Zella Day, and Elle King.
24. What was your favorite film of this year?
Mark forced me to watch Whiplash, and I ended up loving it. I expected it to be far too intense for my anxiety-prone nature, but the story was great. I only saw a few movies released in 2015, and my favorites were probably Inside Out and The Martian.
25. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 32 in January, and for my birthday we made my favorite recipe that came from Mark's family, creamy chicken enchiladas, and the following weekend we went out to dinner at an Italian restaurant with my mom and stepdad. Nothing too exciting, but I'm finding that I'm still having trouble celebrating my birthday after losing my grandfather on the same day a few years ago.
26. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?
Haha, this question makes me laugh now, given that I've abandoned capsule wardrobes and everything they stand for. Fashion is pretty low on my priority list. My aesthetic is "lazy fitness": I wear jeans/leggings, black Nikes and a fleece/hoodie any time it's socially acceptable. Portland style seems to be categorized by either typical hipster attire or comfortable outdoor apparel, and I certainly lean towards the later. But when I do "dress up," I still wear the kinds of things I had in my capsule wardrobes (black/grey/neutrals, stripes, tunics, cardigans, knits, etc).
27. What kept you sane?
My planner, lolz. But seriously. I've never had much success with planners in the past, but my Inkwell Press Planner was my BFF this year, particularly when I was planning the move, downsizing/selling our stuff, preparing to sell the condo, saying goodbyes, and making the road-trip out West. I would not have been able to do it without my planner; I lived by that thing this year.
28. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
This question made me realize that I have not payed any attention to celebrities this year... like, I still haven't even heard "Hotline Bling," and what's the big deal about Drake anyways? Pretty much all of my entertainment comes from books, podcasts, or YouTube nowadays. So if I use those as my selection pool, my favorite people are Ann and Aminatou from Call Your Girlfriend, and the brilliant and articulate YouTuber Rosianna Halse Rojas.
29. What political issue stirred you the most?
So much is weighing on me. It been a heavy year, hasn't it? Especially lately. The epidemic of mass shootings and politicians complete inability to take preventative action because of the NRA is disappointing and troubling. I hadn't realized that even the CDC was banned from researching gun deaths as a public health issue due to legislation pushed through by NRA-backed Republicans. Chicago currently has the nation's attention as investigations are launched into the shooting of yet another black man by police, and why the police department tried to cover up the shooting. Even my dear alma mater Mizzou was at the center of the news for a while, and I was torn between feeling proud for the college students and athletes fighting injustice, and feeling saddened by the dismissive way the protests were being covered in the media. I also wrestled with my former oblivion to racial tension on campus that came from my own privilege, having had an entirely different college experience than students of color. And then there were the terrorist attacks in Paris and Beirut, and in Southern California. As tragic as these attacks are, I am embarrassed and heart-broken by how many people are reactionary and close-minded towards the refugee crisis, and the pure Islamophobia that mainstream front-running candidates (UGH) are incorporating into their actual political platforms. What kind of history are we writing here?
I know I'm bringing up a bunch of issues upon which opinions often vary and tensions often rise, but I can basically sum up my own thoughts by saying I refuse to let fear be a motivating factor in my life. Fear of others is the locus of so much of the world's pain, and we'd be so much better off if we open our eyes, hearts, ears, hands to one another. "Frankly, there isn't anyone you couldn't love, once you've heard their story." - Mary Lou Kownacki
30. Who did you miss?
My family, now that we're 2,000+ miles apart. I didn't see them all that frequently when we lived nearby, so homesickness really hasn't been an issue for me, but Thanksgiving was a bit lonely and I'm very glad we got to visit over Christmas. I also went through a period of mourning how easily friends fade into acquaintances fade into strangers. It's hard to let go of the idea of these people and their friendship when you're a naturally nostalgic person, but it is a necessary process in order to move onward, especially since I want to focus on making new, local friends in Portland.
32. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015.
○ Let that shit go. Physically and emotionally. We hold onto so much more than we need to.
○ Self-care takes work and effort. Sometimes it’s okay to do what’s easy and comfortable in the name of self-care, but usually the best-for-you choices require more intention and responsibility towards yourself.
○ Create more than you consume. When you're feeling stuck and restless, the solution is almost always to make something. Make art, movement, connection, or even just a meal for yourself.
○ Focus on the process, not the outcome.
○ Create more than you consume. When you're feeling stuck and restless, the solution is almost always to make something. Make art, movement, connection, or even just a meal for yourself.
○ Focus on the process, not the outcome.
I read the book When Women Were Birds by Terry Tempest Williams over the summer, and it explored the idea of women's voices and what it means to use your voice as a woman. There were so many quotes and passages that spoke to me, but one that I keep thinking about since reading the book is a simple line that comes at the end of a story about Terry fighting for environmental conservation on behalf of a wilderness society. After returning from a draining trip to Washington, D.C., she writes, "For me, what is real was the sweet smell of sage after rain in the desert, not lunch with a senator." The quote itself isn't immediately powerful, but it resonated with me as someone who struggles with what success means. It hit me I often worry about external markers instead of looking within. My idea of what's real, of what a sweet life looks like, IS equally as simple as the smell of sage after the rain. Now it's just a matter of remembering that and being at peace with this simpler and truer version of life.
****
And now, onto a new year. Cheers to 2016.
